The Most Dangerous Game
by MasterFroda
Summary: The four teams have gone on a mission to the Mist, but the mission turns out to be more than they bargained for: Five new foes and scores of old ones! HUMOROUS. UPDATE COMING VERY SOON!
1. The Board is Set

Ok, this is my FIRST fanfic. I'm a huge Shino fan and also a huge NaruHina fan, so that's part of the reason I'm writing this. NaruHina will be a pairing, but I will need input as to who else to pair up. This chapter is pretty short, but I'll have another one out soon if I get some good reviews! Please R&R!

**The Most Dangerous Game**

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of its characters, and I know the title is a blatant rip-off of the movie, _The Most Dangerous Game._ I don't own that either.

_ The Board is Set  
_

Yuuhi Kurenai wondered how such a trio could exist. She was teaching a loudmouth dog-lover, a shy, unconfident white-eyed kunoichi, and a strong, silent type who happened to spend his time with insects. Yes, this was a strange assortment of shinobi that she had to train, and today, none of them seemed to be concentrating on their training regimen.

"Let's go! Come on, Hinata, you're not paying attention to Kiba's attacks! Kiba! You aren't even bothering to attack her! Shino!..."

"Shino?" The bug-user was not where he was supposed to be. He was supposed to be helping Hinata learn the fundamentals of the Hakkeshou Kaiten by attacking her from behind while Kiba attacked from the front. Of course, Kiba and Hinata seemed to be staring at something, and Shino... He was the subject of all the staring. No one had seen him like this. He had always been dutiful and disciplined, but now, he was asleep.

"Oy, Shino!"

"Hm?"

"Wake up!"

"I was never asleep."

Kurenai was now very confused. If Shino wasn't asleep, what was he doing? Was he meditating on something? Perhaps he was talking to his bugs. In any case, now was not an appropriate time to be distracted from one's duty, and Shino, contrary to character, did not seem to realize that.

"Please accept my apologies, Kurenai-Sensei, but I am meditating on a problem that has been troubling me for quite some time."

Hinata knew the problem of which he spoke. About a month ago, she decided to put her confidence in the quiet boy regarding the object of her affections, Uzumaki Naruto. Shino, always up for a challenge and having Hinata's best interests in mind, made up his mind to bring the dunce to the realization that someone was after his heart. Hinata was chagrined when she saw Shino putting her problems before his training, and was puzzled as to why the issue troubled him now when it hadn't before.

Kurenai was not too pleased about the entire matter, so she simply said, "All right, it seems that none of you can concentrate today, so I guess I'll let you go early. But tomorrow, I want all three of you to be at peak performance. Dismissed."

Hinata approached Shino.

"Um, Shino-kun? I really d-don't need you to do this f-for me..."

"..."

"What I mean to say is... um.. Why is the problem bothering you now?"

"..." Shino did not want to answer. Even though this was Hinata's problem, he determined that it would be best if he did not keep her posted, so as to better concentrate upon the task at hand. Besides, if he were to tell her about the love-tetrahedron that made itself manifest in the hearts of Konoha's genin, Hinata would sink further into the maw of depression.

"I was not meditating upon your problem earlier today, Hinata," Shino half-lied. "My bugs have been acting strange lately, and I am trying to figure out the cause." It was true that the bugs have not been behaving normally; they were buzzing about erratically and were crawling restlessly beneath his skin. He was worried about this on top of Hinata's problem, and he was thinking about both during his meditation.

"Oh..." Hinata was both relieved and disappointed. "I see..." Hinata left Shino to go home and put up with another lambasting from her father. Shino reviewed the situation.

"Hinata loves Naruto, that is for certain. My ultimate goal is to get those two together, but there are a few obstacles that must be overcome. Firstly, Naruto has that irritating crush on Sakura, who carries a torch for our beloved missing-nin, Sasuke." Shino never liked the Uchiha very much, and the fact that he was willing to betray the village cemented his distaste. The term "beloved" was used with a large helping of sarcasm.

"Then, of course, there are the others. Lee has a deep affection for Sakura, which can take care of the crush problem, but that man, as strong as he is, does not have a chance of winning the girl's heart. Maybe if one of his teammates got attached to someone, Lee would be spurred to change his situation..."

Why was he doing this? Why was he so bent on creating couples? It was simply a distraction, wasn't it? Shino walked to the Aburame manor and opened the front door. From there, he walked through the maze-like hallways until he found his room. He sat down on his bed and looked at all of his memorable photographs on his desk. There was, of course, the picture of team 8: Inuzuka Kiba, Hyuuga Hinata, Yuuhi Kurenai, and himself. He looked left, and suddenly, a rare wave of emotion washed over him. There was a picture of him and the Third Hokage having dango together. The hokage had treated all the children of Konohagakure like his own grandchildren, and Shino was no exception. But Shino was stunned because he remembered something Sandaime-sama had said during that moment.

FLASHBACK

Shino sat on the stool with his dad and the Hokage, not sure why the greatest ninja in the village had decided to treat the two of them to dango and tea. Nevertheless, he ate his sweet peacefully, drinking in his surroundings. He saw a pink-haired girl chasing after the Uchiha prodigy, and it stirred a question in his mind, which he asked the Hokage:

"Sandaime-sama? Why are we allowed to show our love so strongly? Is love not a distraction from studying, training, and missions? From what is truly important?"

The wizened Hokage began to smile.

"There are some who say that love is an unnecessary distraction that only weakens a shinobi. It is said that bonds are only made to be severed, and the stronger the bonds, the more pain there is when the bonds are broken."

Shino stared at the sage with furrowed eyebrows before he continued.

"Those people who despise love... are fools."

Shino raised an eyebrow, but the Hokage kept speaking.

"Shinobi fight at their hardest when they have important people to protect. Bonds make people strong; bonds give people a purpose. If we are motivated to help our precious people, we can become stronger than any hateful adversary. That is why love is important, Shino. Love makes a shinobi, and his village, strong."

END FLASHBACK

That was it! Love was the essential ingredient to Konohagakure's survival! Shino now had a self-imposed mission: He would become the cupid on insect wings, and would make love blossom in Konoha!

Tsunade was not having a good day. Sure, it started out pretty well; She woke up from a good night's sleep, drank some hot tea, and went to her office to do her daily paperwork. She didn't like paperwork, but there weren't many papers for her to review or sign. Then, as she finished her tea, she got to the bottom of the pile, where she found a mission request straight from the Mizukage of Kirigakure village.

"Shit."

"I want all jounin ninja squads here immediately!" she called.

"Tsunade-sama, I am afraid that all the jounin squads are on missions lately. The only teams available are the Jounin-led rookie genin."

"Shit. We'll have to settle with them. Bring teams Kakashi, Kurenai, Asuma, and Gai here immediately."

"Hai, Tsunade-sama."

"Those teams work extremely well together, but I wonder if they'll hold up under this mission. Especially when it involves 5 A-rank criminals..."

A/N: Pretty boring, eh? I know it is, but it will definitely pick up soon. Action and romance coming, I just have to set the stage. This fic WILL be NaruHina, but there will be other pairings, and I would like to know exactly what you want me to put in there. And no, SasuSaku will NOT be an option, except if you have a really good reason for it. Also sorry that Naruto has not yet made an appearance.


	2. The Game is On

Hey, people! I am surprised and honored to get so many reviews within 1 day of release. I am not going to personally respond to every review, but I will simply say that yes, Shino is going to be out of character for quite a few strange moments.Also, thanks to Cueball for your interesting input about the couples. I'm not sure if I'm going to use them, with so many "traditional" couple fans out there, but I like the way you think. Also, to Blue-Fire310, shounen-ai has crossed my mind, but in a different context. I don't want to give anything away, though. Anyways, on with the show!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any of the characters involved. I **do**, however, own a Sabbaku no Gaara plushie.

**The Most Dangerous Game**

_Chapter 2: The Game is On_

10 Genin, one Chuunin, and 4 Jounin were assembled in the Hokage's office. Naruto expressed his curiosity about the matter in a way that only Naruto could: "Nani? Why the hell are we all here, Tsunade-obaa-chan?"

A vein surfaced on The 5th Hokage's face but she forced herself to calm down. She was, after all, in front of other, more distinguished ninja. Besides, her pink-haired apprentice had already done her work for her.

"Itai..."

"Despite the phasing that Naruto chose to use, he does bring up a valid point. You all should know why you are here. Some of you have had past experiences with Kirigakure's seven Shinobi-Gatana, the most deadly kenjutsu masters in the Mist. I have recieved notice from the Mizukage that the remaining five Shinobi-Gatana have all become missing-nin, and are plotting a violent coup upon the Mist government."

"Ne, Tsunade-obaa... sama..." Naruto said as he recieved a death glare from Sakura, "Who are the Shinobi-Gatana?"

"That isn't good, when a question like that comes from you, Naruto." Kakashi, Naruto's sensei, answered. "We fought one of them, remember? And another one is a member of Akatsuki."

"Kakashi is correct," Tsunade regained the floor. "There used to be seven Shinobi-Gatana, but two of them broke off a while ago. One of them, Momochi Zabuza, has been killed, and the other one, Hoshigaki Kisame, is still at large and is one of the Akatsuki Nine. The other five seem to have followed their example. Needless to say, you all have your work cut out for you."

Naruto suddenly took on an uncharacteristically serious expression, as did Sakura. They knew how powerful those swords could be. The other Genin heard Naruto's silence and they, themselves, became quite afraid. Even Shikamaru betrayed a twinge of fear.

"Here are the profiles of the five missing shinobi. I am entrusting one profile to each Jounin, and the remainder will go to Shikamaru." Tsunade handed out 5 pamphlets to the aforementioned people.

"Many lives and an entire government is at stake here. Be careful, and try not to die. You are all dismissed."

"Kuso, how irritating..." Shikamaru said under his breath. Ino heard him.

"Irritating? What happened to troublesome?"

"It's too irritating to say troublesome all the time, so I've switched to irritating."

"But isn't irritating one more syllable than troublesome? Wouldn't it be more troublesome to say irritating than troublesome?"

"...Damn woman, with her logic. How... bothersome..."

Chouji just grinned from ear to ear at his friends' antics as he opened a bag of chips.

"Anou saa, Anou saa, Kakashi-sensei! Who's the guy in the profile? I want to see the face of the guy I'm going to beat up!"

"Naruto, don't be so hasty!" Sakura chided.

"It's alright, let me just open the folder and we'll take a..." Kakashi's visible eye bulged as he saw the all too familiar mask. He had seen this picture before, in a very detailed entry in the Bingo Book.

"Odoruwa..."

"Hm? You say something Kakashi-sensei?"

"His name is Odoruwa. He's an A-Rank criminal in the Bingo Book, only A-Rank because no one knows exactly how strong he really is. I think that he deserves an S under his name."

---

Deep in the swamps of Water Country, a tall, dark man sneezed behind his demonic-looking mask.

"You ok, boss?" 

"Yes," he said. "Never better." He grinned behind the mask, and his subordinate was thoroughly creeped out by the man's behavior.

"You think Odoruwa is acting weird, Kiniro-san?"

"Nah... he's always been creepy like that. Let him enjoy it."

The man named Kiniro stood up and shifted the strange object on his back. The younger one looked down at the ground.

"Sure wish Zabuza and Kisame were here. As a team, we used to be invincible. Now, we're just a bunch of brigands." At this, Odoruwa shot out of his reverie and grabbed the nonbeliever by the throat.

"We never were brigands and we are not brigands now! You would do well to remember that, Raiken." He put Raiken down. "Do you not know who we are, young one? Or have you simply forgotten? We are the shinobi that have taken unimaginable numbers of lives! We were the ones to destroy the Kayuga clan! And we shall be the ones to rule over Kirigakure and the entire Water country! Zabuza was a fool to leave us. Look where he is now! He is a demon in hell! Kisame has been degraded into an errand-boy for the Akatsuki! We do not need fools or weaklings in our ranks."

"Uh... whatever you say... boss..."

---

The 4 teams headed out of Konoha and Hinata was petrified. She hadn't been on an A-Rank mission before! Heck, she hadn't even done a B-Rank mission! How was she supposed to hold herself together on a mission as dangerous as this one? She would just drag others down and become someone to rescue when the time came. She was broken from her self-loathing reverie by her cousin, Neji.

"Hinata-sama."

"N-Neji nii-san! I didn't see you!"

"It is alright, Hinata-sama. I could see the worried expression on your face. You need not worry about getting hurt. I am here to protect you."

"I'm not worried about my safety..."

Neji looked puzzled, so Hinata explained.

"That's the p-problem... I'm just so weak, Neji-nii-san, I always need protection... I want to be strong... I want to..." Hinata mumbled the last few words: "m-make him acknowledge me."

She looked up and saw Naruto walking just ahead of her, trying to make Sakura laugh at him. He was having little success, as always, but then Hinata caught sight of something strange. Shino was walking alongside them, looking as severe as ever. Shino never walked with anyone but his team. Why was he walking with Naruto and Sakura?

Shino could ask himself that same question: _Why am I doing this? _Sakura and Naruto looked a bit ill-at-ease with him walking beside them, so he decided to fall back into the pack. _I need to be a little less conspicuous. I have to conspire... I need help. I have to admit to myself, My inter-personal skills are not the best. I need a face and a voice, and I think I know exactly who to use... The perfect patsy..._ Hey eyed his puppet-to-be, Konoha's wild green beast, Rock Lee. He had heard that rhetoric before. _Perfect._

Lee was, of course, talking in his over-enthusiastic tone to his favorite sensei about protecting his precious people from the Mist-nin. Shino walked up to the young ninja and interrupted his conversation.

"Lee, I would like to talk to you about something."

"Shino?"

Shino was a little irritated that everyone was so surprised at him when he spoke. It wasn't _that_ rare... was it? _Nevermind. I have work to do._

"Lee, I need your power of youth." _Damn, that sounded stupid._

"YOSH! SHINO-SAN, WHATEVER PROBLEM YOU MAY HAVE, I, ROCK LEE, WILL AID YOU WITH MY OVERFLOWING YOUTHFUL PASSION!"

_I can't believe he took the bait so well._

"Lee, I need you to do everything in your power to impress Sakura. Don't go overboard so as to jeopardize the mission, but it would serve my purposes if Sakura fell for you." _My battle tactics are amazingly subtle, but it appears it is not so when it comes to my speech. I will have to work on that._

"I don't know why you want me and Sakura together, but I would be more than happy to comply with your request! In fact, I was just about to..." _Just tune him out and keep your sanity, Shino. Did the mouth stop moving? Ok. Now, thank him._

"Thank you, Lee." _Don't screw this up._

Lee galloped over to the object of his affections and yelled out loudly, "SAKURA-SAN! I SHALL PROTECT YOU WITH MY LIFE!"

_ Over-enthusiastic as ever. Wait! Is that a smile on her face? Excellent._ Shino clasped his fingers together like a mad scientist who had finally completed a creature too horrible for any sane mind to imagine. His outward appearance was that of a normal Shino. He nearly never betrayed any emotions, and this time was no exception. Not even a smirk escaped his lips. Then, what he heard next sent his mind reeling, but not a muscle on his face gave any indication.

"Thanks, Lee. You're a great friend."

_Shit._

Lee's face reflected Shino's mood as he began to look to the ground.

"Yeah. A great friend."

_ Damn it, Lee is out of the running now. When a female says something like that, even I know that the male stands no chance. He was my best bet, too. Now, I have to think of others... Kiba? He'll be pretty broken up about Hinata and Naruto. That could work, but I'm not sure I can trust him. Shikamaru? No, they don't fit. Besides, he has no motivation in the first place. Neji? Hm... wait... I see his eyes... there is no love in that one. Only duty. I have to work on him, and Sakura is a more immediate concern. Chouji? ...Let's just forget I ever mentioned him. I'm not even going to think about the Jounin senseis; that is just sick. That just leaves... Oh, no..._

_"_If you want a job done right, you have to do it yourself, Shino-sama."

_Who was that?_

"Bug no. 3494283, a.k.a. Oda, reporting, sir."

_Ah, Oda. Wait a minute. How are you hearing my thoughts?_

"It's a side-effect of the symbiotic relationship, I believe, Shino-sama. We can hear your thoughts. You never had to whisper to us to give us orders. Also, as for me talking, it is related to why your army has been acting strangely lately. We were electing a spokesbug."

_A spokesbug?_

"Yes, a spokesbug, Shino-sama. It would be rather troublesome to hear over one million little voices chattering at you all at once, so I have been elected to be the voice of the multitude."

_That seems fair enough._

"Of course it is fair. Fair for you, and us. We needed to throw our own 2 million cents in, didn't we? And once I was elected, we have come to the consensus that you at least need to give the _illusion_ that you and Sakura are an item. You can tell her, if you like. Who knows? You two might just stick!"

_ I really don't have any feelings for her, if that's what you're implying, but that plan does seem sound. We could create the façade that we are going out, and when Hinata and Naruto become an item, we can dispel the illusion. It is a foolproof plan, which is why something is **bound**__ to go wrong._

As if on cue, two pairs of eyes began to drink in the situation. The mouth under the red pair of eyes spoke.

"Shall we go?"

The mouth under the yellow eyes curled into a sinister smile.

"Not yet. We shall wait for the most opportune moment to strike."

The red eyes shuddered a bit as a tongue grazed his ear. He had never liked this treatment. He didn't particularly like the man behind the yellow eyes, either, but he dare not betray him. Not now, anyway.

He would wait for the most opportune moment to strike.

---

A/N: WHEW! So many glowing reviews; I would like to give thanks to all who read my fic and reviewed. I was motivated to get this out ASAP! Hopefully, this one should be a bit more entertaining. Also, I would like a bit of input as to whether I should make the chapters longer or not. I have read fics with 20 page long chapters, but it would take a while longer to get them out. I really don't know. Anyway, I would like to say here and now that in my opinion, Shino has quite a deep personality when his thoughts are concerned, but he never shows it. I don't think that he should be so silent inside his head, but that's just me. I'm the one writing the fic, anyway! See you next chapter!


	3. New, Potent Pieces

1Hey, there, all you happy people! I have come with chapter 3! Again, thanks to all the people who have submitted such wonderful reviews, and special thanks to Cecil Ulysses Pid, who has been extremely helpful in terms of motivation. Now, without further ado, Chapter three of

**The Most Dangerous Game**

_New, Potent Pieces_

"So this is Kirigakure village... I would never have guessed..."

Kiba walked across the wooden "ground."

"Yes, Kiba," Kurenai answered, "every time I come here I'm amazed at the ingenuity of this place's construction."

What the two Konoha ninja were talking about was the fact that the Hidden Mist village was built like a large dock jutting out from the shore. All of the pathways were made entirely of wood, with thick columns keeping the city from sinking. The scaffolds of the buildings reached down to the bed of the lake for extra stability, and the effect the village gave off was exotic, if not a bit eerie. The Hidden Mist village got its name from the constant fog that enveloped the village; a side-effect of its location. As a countermeasure, the villagers always had lanterns out so they could see each other.

Naruto drank in the looks. He had been to Water Country before, but only for a mission to Wave Country, its lesser sister-state. His eyes were wide in wonder; he had never seen anything like this place in his life. Many of his comrades were acting the same way. Everyone was so caught up in the moment that they failed to notice a very plump but cheerful man step in front of them. The man was immaculately dressed in a very expensive-looking suit which seemed to be immune to any ill effects of the high humidity. The little man coughed once to draw the Leaf-nins' attention.

"Ahem, Are you the squad from Konoha?" the little man's voice was very nasal but somehow pleasant.

"Eh, yes, we are. Why?" Kakashi answered.

"Allow me to introduce myself. I am Miyamoto Gennosuke, personal assistant and advisor to the Mizukage. I am to be in charge of making you all feel welcome here."

"This person seems very nice." Ino commented.

"Yeah," Asuma said, "They have been incredibly nice to Konoha since their attempted assassination of the 3rd Hokage during the Great Ninja Wars. They feel as if they have to apologize after the fact. It's ironic that the assassin is one of our targets for this mission."

Gennosuke drew attention back to himself. "Before I bring you to see the Mizukage, I have been instructed to treat you all," _Oh, my, this is a large group, isn't it?_ Gennosuke paled slightly. "To dinner."

At this, two of the Leaf-Nins whooped for joy. Hinata blushed as she saw Naruto being the usual loudmouth, and Shikamaru sighed as he saw Chouji being the usual glutton.

---

Miyamoto Gennosuke was a very kind and generous man, but no amount of kindness or generosity could prepare him for a combined assault of Uzumaki Naruto and Akimichi Chouji. He watched in horror as the two boys gulped down scores of seafood, (the staple of Water Country), and consequently, a number of Gennosuke's paychecks. _Thank goodness that the others don't eat like that, or I'd be a poor man, _he thought.

Once Kakashi had pried the two growing boys from their combined 107th helping, he said, "I think it's time we see the Mizukage now." His visible eye squinted sheepishly.

The ninja were led by Gennosuke up a long flight of spiraling wooden stairs to a raised watch tower which happened to be where the Mizukage made his office. As they entered the enclosure, their noses were attacked with the heady smell of burning incense and hookah smoke. The Mizukage seemed to like his mist. When the shinobi entered, the Mizukage took a quick last puff of his hookah and put the pipe on a special ceremonial pillow.

"Ah! If it isn't my good friend, Sarutobi Asuma! How is your father? Is he well?"

Asuma frowned. "He's dead."

"Oh, that's a shame... Who is the foul person who killed him?"

"Well, technically, he killed himself, using the Shiki Fuujin on Orochimaru."

"Ah, well at least he took that dreadful pupil with him..."

"No, he didn't."

"He didn't?"

"It is a long story, Mizukage-dono, and now is not the time. Do you have a mission for us, or what?"

"Now, now, Asuma-san, let's not be so hasty. Yes, I have had the displeasure of finding out that my five most trusted and skilled shinobi have betrayed me. They are all now missing-nin, hoping to overthrow me and put this country under their despotic oligarchy. I am glad that Konoha has been so responsive, but I had asked for special Jounin, not an army of Genin."

"Konoha's Jounin are unavailable at the time, as they are on a different mission, and the ANBU make the Hokage's protection a full-time effort. The chuunin are also needed to protect the village in case of an assault. We are the only ones that Godaime-sama could spare."

"I see. Well, I hope that these Genin have some repute. Gennosuke, give me a list of the shinobi in front of me. Gennosuke gave a clipboard to the Mizukage, who mumbled something to his advisor that made the man smile in relief. What the Mizukage had said to Gennosuke was: "An Akimichi? I am terribly sorry about your inconvenience, Gennosuke-san; you will be fully compensated for the dinner. You may go, now."

Gennosuke left the tower with a spring in his step.

"Hmm... so in your group are the heirs to some of Konoha's most potent clans. Let me guess... You're the Akimichi," he pointed to Chouji, "You are the Aburame heir," he pointed to Shino. "Nara," he let his finger drift toward Shikamaru and then towards Ino when he said "Yamanaka."

"And which one of you is the Hyuuga heir? I am suspecting it is the more steely-eyed one..."

"No, Kazekage-sama, I am but a branch member. The heiress is my cousin, Hinata-sama."

Hinata was a bit nervous at the attention.

"And, of course, the one with the dog belongs to the Inuzuka clan."

Akamaru yipped in acknowledgment.

"Anou saa, anou saa! What about me?"

The Mizukage stared at the blond-haired boy. "What about you?" he said dryly.

"I'm Uzumaki Naruto! The great shinobi who's destined to become Hokage!" Naruto punched the air in front of him. Hinata smiled slightly at the display. The Mizukage caught this.

"You seem to command a lot of respect, Uzumaki Naruto, to be admired by the Hyuuga heiress. There may be some truth to your words."

Hinata was mortified to have been found out, but Naruto, dense as he was, drew a blank. Hinata sighed in relief. The Mizukage also sighed at the blond's utter stupidity.

Sakura was a bit disappointed that she was not mentioned, but she didn't come from any special clan and didn't have the audacity that Naruto had. As such, she remained silent.

Kakashi spoke up. "So, are you going to give us any more info on these criminals? Or do we have to find everything out ourselves?"

"Ah, don't worry, Sharingan no Kakashi, I have every intention of supplying you with as much information as I have. The surnames of all of the missing-nins have been erased from all record books to avoid tracing, so I am going to give you just what they go by. The first one is called Raiken. He's the youngest and most inexperienced of the group, but he's definitely earned his Jounin rank. Well, that is, until he threw it away in betraying me. Like all Mist-nin, he is skilled in Suiton jutsu, but what you need to worry about is his kenjutsu. He is, in a word, fast. He can wield his double-bladed sword so quickly that he has been dubbed "The Blur" by those who like to come up with nicknames for legendary ninja. As you may have already guessed, the Shinobi-gatana are famed for their unique swords and kenjutsu. Raiken relies on speed to get rid of his opponents."

"The second one goes by the name of Tajoumaru. He is well-known for his exploits in Sunagakure and his thievery of the knowledge of puppet jutsu. He has used this knowledge to create a "puppet sword" which can function as a normal large sword like the one the late Zabuza used, but there are numerous switches on the hilt, guard, pommel, and blade itself that can reveal all sorts of nasty traps. Be warned; Tajoumaru is a tricky one. Do not be fooled by his sloppy kenjutsu style; he will try to miss on purpose so he can activate a trap for the kill. His puppet sword, combined with his suiton jutsu and his sharp mind, can easily bring down foes much stronger than he is."

"Morimoto is the third, and he has done what was thought impossible. He wields two giant swords connected by a chain, and he can throw them like kusari-kama. You can understand, now, that I really loved these guys. Other than his exotic weapon, he doesn't have many more surprises, but he is too strong to need subtlety. He, like all Jounin should, has a keen tactical mind that can make new strategies to cope with new situations. He is not to be underestimated."

"The fourth, and, I might add, the most pretty, is Kiniro. Finesse is his thing, and he is able to cope with a wide variety of situations, as the weird lump on his back rolls out into a fan of swords that he can unsheathe and sheathe in an instant. You are lucky that I know all of the swords that he has; otherwise, you would be in pieces instantly. He has, on his right, a regular katana, a long odachi, and a shorter ninja to. On his left, he has a wakizashi, a blade-catching jitte, and a long, wide, blunt blade good for blocking other forms of attack. Try to catch him as he switches weapons, but I can't promise results; the time window for a strike is less than a second. Like all the others, he compliments his kenjutsu with suiton jutsu."

"The fifth and most deadly is the fearsome Odowura. Not even I know that much about him. All I know is that he is strong, and that his sword makes Zabuza's cleaver look like a kitchen knife in comparison. I'm almost glad that he abandoned me, but he's the reason why I don't want those shinobi to rule this land! He is a homicidal maniac who kills for pleasure. I wouldn't be surprised if you find one less target than expected, as he can sometimes get bloodthirsty. Also, he is a great threat to this village, as alongside his suiton jutsu, he knows an assortment of katon jutsu as well. Make sure that he is separate from his group when fighting; If you take them on all at once, you will die."

Hinata gulped at the word "die" and everyone stood in an uncomfortable silence until Sakura noticed Naruto.

"BAKA! This is important information! WAKE UP!"

Naruto cringed in pain as even though Sakura had only begun training with Tsunade, her physical strength had increased dramatically.

For some reason, seeing Naruto's antics made Hinata feel a bit better. _I can do this_, she thought, _I can do this... for Naruto._

---

The group left the tower, except for Asuma, who had been invited to share the Mizukage's hookah in lieu of his usual cigarettes. Asuma couldn't refuse an offer like that.

Shino (A/N: FINALLY) decided to pitch his plan to Sakura. He didn't particularly like her, but it was for Hinata and Naruto, so he could at least put up an act. It wasn't like he would actually try to get Sakura to like him. No, he would appeal to one of her greatest desires...

"Sakura."

"Shino?" _Damn it, again with the surprise at my speaking. Is it really that amazing, or is it something about my voice that surprises everyone who hears it?_

"I have a proposition for you, Sakura. I ask that you keep an open mind. I know how Naruto likes you."

"Uhh, yeah..." Sakura wasn't sure where Shino was going with this, and she was thoroughly freaked out at the fact that Shino _brought up_ the subject of romance.

"You are annoyed, yes? You want him to stop, yes?"

Sakura was afraid that Shino was offering to kill Naruto as some sort of perverse favor.

"Well, it isn't _that_ bad..." **"YES IT IS!"** screamed inner Sakura.

"I'm thinking that we should, upon return to Konoha, pretend to be together."

"Oh." **"Thank God he doesn't want to kill Naruto..."** Inner Sakura said as she squeezed a Naruto plushie. Even though she had no feelings for the guy, she did like him a lot as a friend and comrade.

"Why do you want to do this? Do you have a thing for me, all of a sudden" _Please say no. Please say no. Please say no._

"No, I don't."

"**HELL YEAH!"**

"Then why?"

"I have some ulterior motives, but I can assure you that they are all benign."

"It's about Hinata, isnt' it?"

There are times in everyone's life when they are so completely and utterly surprised that they let go of all mental barriers around their Id and stand there in utter shock. This was one of those times for Shino. Of course, being the mild-mannered person that he was, all he did was raise an eyebrow.

"How did you know?" _Am I that transparent? I can't be! I betray no emotion!_

"Actually, it was deduction. You're Hinata's teammate, and would do pretty much anything for her, especially because she's so adorable. Everyone knows Hinata likes Naruto; even I do, and that's one of the many reasons why I would never go out with him. I have never even seen you glance in my general direction, so I can't assume that you actually _like_ me, so if you're trying to pry Naruto off my back, there can be only one explanation."

Shino, again, raised an eyebrow. _I like this girl already. NOT THAT WAY, DAMN IT!_

Sakura could see Shino squash one of his bugs between his thumb and index finger with a killing intent that she had never felt before. She was scared. What was she getting herself into? She snapped back to attention as Shino began to speak again.

"I do not think it would be wise to put our plan into action until we have finished the mission. Such a situation could prove a distraction to all of us. Are we agreed?"

"We are agreed." Sakura extended her arm to shake Shino's hand, and it took the antisocial boy a little while to comprehend what she was doing before returning the gesture.

_He's going to need a **lot** of practice if he wants to make this look realistic._

---

"SAKÉ, ONE AND ALL!" Tajoumaru yelled as he carried a large crate filled with clay bottles.

"Let's get drunk to celebrate our transformation into A-Rank criminals!"

He chugged a bottle and then smashed it on his head. His four compatriots sat around a fire staring at him.

Morimoto then looked toward his leader. "Odoruwa?"

"I guess you can have some drinks... but don't overdo it." He knew that Tajoumaru was a lost cause, but the other three would listen. They always did. Tajoumaru did too, except when it came to any form of indulgence. Tajoumaru was governed too strongly by the pleasures of the flesh. Odoruwa watched in disgust behind his mask as Tajoumaru chugged his eighth bottle, letting saké run down his chin and onto his hairy chest. If it came to killing his team, he would relish the slaughter of that man the most.

Slaughter. Odoruwa hadn't killed anything for almost a week. Fishing did not count. He saw a large speckled fish swimming in the shallow water beside the fire. With lightning speed, he grabbed the fish out of the water and snapped its neck with his thumb. With a little too much force, he skewered the fish and stuck the skewer in the fire. He had been doing this all day to pass the time, and the group had more than enough to eat. But such easy prey did not satisfy Odoruwa. Even a small mammal was better than the emotionless eyes of a fish as it showed no fear in its death, only resignation. Odowura hated resignation. He wanted his victims to fight to the bitter end or at least scream in fear as it came. He didn't like quiet death. It just sickened him.

He looked again at Tajoumaru who was now on bottle 26 and began to wonder how his blood tasted infused with so much alcohol. He began to stare intently at Tajoumaru's neck as the lump in his throat moved up and down as he swallowed his saké. Kiniro noticedOdoruwa's behavior and intervened before things got ugly.

"Boss."

"Hn?"

"We're bound to be hunted any day now. Just keep your cool. We don't want to lose a teammate, no matter how irritating he may be."

"Who you callin' hic irritating? I'll schlishe you right open, ya pretty boy! I love you..."

Raiken was beginning to get disturbed by his comrades. It was at times like these when he wanted Zabuza and Kisame back. Sure, they were weird too, but they were much more amiable than the others. At least he had Kiniro. He was nice enough. But he looked like a freakin' girl, for God's sake! And why did Odowura wear that creepy mask? And why did Tajoumaru have that horribly disgusting five o' clock shadow? And why did Morimoto sew half his mouth shut? That was just disturbing... He needed to get away from these people for a while. He got up and started walking away from the camp, until he heard a very eerie voice.

"Yes... my perfect genius... you are so beautiful... and you are mine!"

Then, he heard another, more human voice.

"Are you staring at me, again?"

"How can I not stare at you? You are so extraordinary."

"Save it."

"Kukukukuku... You're the one who came to _me_, remember? If I'm to give you something, I expect something in return."

"You're already getting my body."

"But I want to experience your beautiful body from the outside, first."

"You are a disgusting person, do you know that, Orochimaru?"

Raiken was stunned. _Orochimaru!_

_I have to warn the others!_

Raiken ran off, leaving the lovebird and his egg to their own devices.

"Yes, I am a disgusting person, Sasuke-kun. You knew so when you came to me. So why not just relax?"

"No. Just...no."

---

(A/N:) GOL-DARN, I HAVE ALWAYS WANTED TO DO A SCENE LIKE THAT! Sorry to all Sasuke fans for putting him through this; sorry to all the yaoi fans for not making it into a lemon, but I want to maintain my T rating and not resort to cheap sex as a gimmick. Also, sorry to people who hate smut in all its forms, including just light implied stuff. Actually, this is going to be used as a plot device, believe it or not, so bear with me. Also, I must remind you guys that in real life, people change. Pairings are not exactly concrete, so there may be some surprise twists. I am also going to continue this fic through the end of the mission, because I think that a more relaxed setting would be better for romance, don't you agree? Signing off,

MasterFroda.


	4. Round One: FIGHT!

Ladies and gents, I am here to set some records straight. I have made a few mistakes in chapter three. Our main OC villain, Odoruwa, seems to have been called two different things: Odoruwa and Odowura. His name is ODORUWA, just to try to get rid of any confusion. I deeply apologize for it. By the way, Odoruwa is based on a character from a different series. His name is almost exactly the same as his other incarnation. Cookies to whoever can guess what Odoruwa is from. My only hint will be that he is from a video game. He gave me a lot of trouble in that game... Also, he has a giant sword there, as well.

My other apology is that I did not have a disclaimer for the last chapter, so I shall write two of them in this one.

Disclaimer number one: Naruto is not mine, nor is the guy who Odoruwa is based on.

Disclaimer number two: Surprisingly, Naruto STILL isn't mine.

Disclaimer number three (for good measure): In case I haven't made myself clear enough, I DON'T OWN ANY FRIGGIN' PART OF NARUTO! Except for a few issues of the manga.

And now, after that tedious introduction, I bring you, the moment you've all been waiting for:

**The Most Dangerous Game**

_Round One: FIGHT!_

"Orochimaru, eh?" Tajoumaru sneered, "I was wondering when that snake bastard would show his face here."

"I'm not kidding! I heard him try to molest..."

"All right, Raiken..." Morimoto interjected. "One, that's far too much information than I wanted to know. Two, we believe you; you don't have to plead your case a second time. Three, did you get any other information?"

"I did manage to overhear talk about Konoha nins hunting us."

"So the snake brings its brood here. Perfect."

"I take it you've had a troubled experience with Orochimaru, Tajoumaru?"

"Yeah... He's the one who stopped me from killing the Hokage when we last met. I had the old man right where I wanted him and then his damned apprentice showed up and handed my ass to me."

"But how did you corner the Hokage anyway?"

"There's a little thing called stealth assassination. I can go unnoticed even by the wily Mizukage if I wanted to. An old fart is no problem for me."

"Enough chatter." Odoruwa exclaimed. "Let us become the hunters, and let the hunters become the prey."

---

"So, uh, where are we going again?" Naruto piped up for the umpteenth time.

Kakashi answered his pupil. "The Mizukage didn't give us a specific location as to where the Shinobi-Gatana would be, so he gave us a general direction. We're going east."

"There they are."

"What? Neji? How do you..." Naruto looked at the veins popping up along Neji's eyes and that visual aid answered his question.

A few short moments later, the Konoha nins faced off with the Shinobi-Gatana.

"That was fast..." Sakura commented.

"Damn it, Tajoumaru! I told you we should have stayed farther away from the village!"

"Relax, Bishi no Kiniro. These are just kids. Let's enjoy this."

Kakashi's eye narrowed. "You guys know the plan...SCATTER!"

All of the Konoha ninja broke apart in an instant and each headed in different directions. The plan was simple: Scatter to break the enemy apart and then regroup into three-man cells. Shikamaru had formulated the plan right after the group had left the Mizukage's tower. As expected, the plan worked perfectly. The missing-nins underestimated their opponents and each followed a different set of three.

Due to the impulsive nature of the plan, the usual teams were broken apart, and whatever three-man cells were formed had little or nothing to do with the original teams. As such, Sakura was only mildly surprised to see Lee and Shino following her.

"This is a well balanced team." She said.

The two boys only nodded in assent as they kept leaping through the trees.

Kiniro was the first to hone in on his targets. Kurenai, Neji, and Ten-Ten were cut off from their path by a flurry of shuriken.

"What luck! I get one of the Jounin! Fufufufufu!"

Kiniro laughed his evil bishi laugh. Neji was appalled. Kurenai was shocked. Ten-Ten found herself strangely aroused.

Kiniro saw the effect that his mad bishiness had on the Leaf nins and decided that enough was enough.

"Allow me to show you my swords..."

Ten-Ten became even more strangely aroused at the mention of her favorite word in plural. This would be an interesting fight.

Kiniro undid a sash on the strange object on his back and it unfolded to reveal a fan-shaped collection of sheathed weapons. Neji fell into the traditional Jyuuken stance and Kurenai pulled out a kunai. Ten-Ten just stood there drooling.

"Ten-Ten! Snap out of it!"

Ten-Ten awoke from her trance and blushed at Neji. Neji's brows furrowed.

"This isn't the time for gawking. We're about to fight a former Jounin."

Ten-Ten nodded and readied her arsenal.

Kiniro grasped the top-right sword. _May as well start out strong._ He drew the no-dachi as he rushed Kurenai. The fierce blow was blocked, but Kiniro managed to knock the kunai out of Kurenai's hand. Ten-Ten wiped the token drop of blood from her nose as she attacked with a veritable maelstrom of shuriken.

"Too slow!"

Kiniro caught all of them on his jitte.

"An admirable effort, but futile!"

Kiniro whipped his jitte, and all of the shuriken flew back towards Ten-Ten. It looked to be the end until-

"Hakkeshou Kaiten!"

Neji jumped in front of her with his ultimate defense: a whirling typhoon of chakra. All of the shuriken were rendered inert. Kurenai used this time to draw an exploding tag and slapped it onto the no-dachi.

"Shit!"

Kiniro whipped his sword (which happened to be a really huge, two-handed taichi) at the kunoichi, who dodged the blade only to be hit by the exposion. It sent her flying into a nearby tree. Neji used this small window in time to attack, but Kiniro was still too fast. He drew his broadsword and blocked the attack.

"Still too slow. I'll make you all pay for ruining my prized no-dachi!"

Kiniro, with lightning speed, sheathed his jitte, switched the broadsword to his left hand, and drew his ninja to. (Think of a ninja to as the type of sword that the ANBU always carry: short and straight.) The sword master attacked with the to, only to have it blocked between Neji's plams. Kiniro then blindsided Neji with his broadsword, sending him reeling. Lucky for Neji, that was a blunt blade, so it merely felt like being hit in the side of the head with a steel bar. Neji rolled with the hit, though, still holding the to, and effectively pulled it out of Kiniro's hand. Neji quickly broke the blade with his palm, and let the two pieces fall to the ground. Kiniro, in a rage, struck Neji in the chest with his broadsword, sending him flying into the same tree in which Kurenai was lying limp. Kiniro sheathed his broadsword and pulled out his two standbys: The katana in his right hand, and the wakizashi in his left. Ten-Ten, being the only one left standing, pulled out two scrolls and unwrapped them slightly. A few hand seals and a puff of smoke later, Ten-Ten was armed with identical blades to Kiniro's. They both took proper daisho stances.

---

Asuma, Kakashi, and Gai stopped running. They realized that they weren't being followed.

Gai spoke up. "We should split up and find other cells. They might be in trouble."

Kakashi concurred. "I was hoping that Odoruwa would follow us; we have the best chance of survival against him. I can only hope that whatever unlucky cell got caught by him is still alive."

---

Chouji was feeling very unlucky. Of all of the five missing-nins, he just had to be staring down the most imposing one. Also, of all of the Konoha nins to choose from, he had to be stuck with _him._

Naruto was not feeling unlucky. He was the type of guy to laugh in the face of danger. He did so. Danger was rather amused at the blond boy's antics.

"This one is lively. It will be a pleasure to kill you, but I would like to know your names first."

Hinata shook with fear. This creepy guy wanted to know her name? She didn't particularly want to speak to him. Naruto did the speaking for her.

"I am Uzumaki Naruto, the greatest ninja of all Konoha! I am destined to become the Hokage to surpass all other Hokages! These are my compatriots: The fatass Akimichi Chouji and the weird quiet girl Hyuuga Hinata!"

Chouji wasn't too pleased with the introduction that his impromptu teammate gave him. Hinata was slightly comforted by Naruto's bravado but was slightly disappointed that Naruto still thought of her as a "weird quiet girl." _But he likes people like me..._ She remembered their conversation by the three logs. She could do this. She could face death for the one she admired. _But why does death's face always have to be so scary?_

---

Kakashi was worried. The numbers added up; why weren't the Jounins followed? He raced through the trees towards where he heard noises of battle, when suddenly...

"Suiton: Suikoudan no jutsu!"

A huge wave of water crashed through the trees and rushed toward Kakashi. The Jounin easily maneuvered out of the way.

"So it looks like you're my opponent for now... Raiken."

"You... Hatake Kakashi... Sharingan no Kakashi... You're the one who killed Zabuza!"

Kakashi stared lazily at his opponent.

"I will avenge my comrade's death! Kakashi! Prepare yourself!"

"I'd better take this seriously, then..."

Kakashi lifted his forhead protector off of his left eye. The spokes in his sharingan spun before settling in their triangular formation.

"Zabuza was no longer your comrade when he died. He was an enemy of Kirigakure village bent on instigating a coup d'état."

"Well, now we're doing the same thing, so in essence, Zabuza is my comrade once more. But he was more than a comrade! He was a friend; the only friend I had! You will pay for every moment I suffered in the Shinobi-Gatana without Zabuza's companionship. You will pay with compound interest!"

With that last statement, Raiken drew and twirled around a very elegant double-bladed sword and rushed at Kakashi.

"This guy... how did he become a Jounin with such a childish attitude? And with such an obvious frontal rush..."

Kakashi was cut off by yet another Raiken coming at him from behind.

"Still too easy."

Kakashi drew a kunai and slew both Raikens, only to see that they melted into water.

"Mizu bunshin."

A flurry of kunai followed by a very angry shinobi prevented Kakashi from contemplating the situation further. One of the kunai hit a wire that triggered yet another flurry of kunai from another direction. Kakashi managed to get away with just a few scrapes. Raiken didn't give him time to catch his breath, however, as he engaged Kakashi with his sword. His blades seemed to hum as they cut through the air. Kakashi dodged and blocked Raiken's attacks, but he could not find an opening as the assault kept coming.

_So this is how he became a Jounin. He is always one step ahead of the game and he has expert kenjutsu moves_.

Suddenly, Raiken stuck his sword into the tree branch, ran around it for momentum, and kicked kakashi square in the face. He used the opening to pull his sword out and slice through Kakashi from stem to stern. He was met by a splash of water.

"How did he..."

Raiken was cut off by a metal-clad fist to the face. On his other cheek was planted a firm kick that sent him flying in the opposite direction.

"I can't lose like this... Ninpou: Kirigakure no jutsu."

A thick mist surrounded the two ninja and Raiken disappeared from Kakashi's sight.

"This is going to be a long battle..." Kakashi said to himself.

---

"So I'm stuck with Ino and Kiba. Great."

Shikamaru assessed his present situation. He had worked with both ninja before, so it shouldn't be too hard to come up with a plan. He just needed to know who he was fighting. A huge cleaver answered his question as it ripped through the trees above the group. Then, a second cleaver tore through a few more trees before they both retracted into a nearby lake.

"Hiding underwater, eh? Don't worry, guys, just leave it to us. Ready, Akamaru?"

"ARF!"

Kiba and his trusty companion leapt into the water before Shikamaru could warn them about the dangers of being in a body of water with a suiton-user.

"Keh. How foolish. Suiton: Suirou no jutsu!"

Kiba and Akamaru rose to the top of the lake, only this time, they were completely surrounded by a large bubble of water.

"Keh. You may have two of us captive, but you only have one hand free. What are you going to do now?"

"Easy. This is not me."

"Wha..."

A second Morimoto leapt out of the trees and flung one of his giant swords at Shikamaru. Shikamaru jumped out of the way.

"Ah... Mizu bunshin. Ino, do your thing!"

"Right! Shintensin no jutsu!"

Ino fell limp in her hiding place and the clone holding Kiba gave a start. It immediately pulled its hand out of the water prison, releasing the ninja and his dog.

"Kai!"

Ino snapped back to attention as her consciousness returned to her body.

"Hn... So you managed to free your teammate. No matter. You're dead anyway."

Morimoto twirled his chain swords at Shikamaru. The result was devastating. Shikamaru was ripped to shreds. At least, Morimoto _thought_ Shikamaru was ripped to shreds. What he found was a very minced log in Shikamaru's place.

"Kawarimi?"

Morimoto was stopped in his train of thought when he found he couldn't move.

"Kage Mane no jutsu: Success!"

"My turn! Akamaru!"

Akamaru turned into a replica of Kiba and they started to run towards the frozen Morimoto.

"Gatsuuga!"

Two spinning human-sized bullets flew towards Morimoto. The impact caused a cloud of dust to appear.

"That seems to be enough." Shikamaru said as he released the jutsu. When the smoke cleared, all he saw was a puddle of water.

"Damn... How troublesome. Another Mizu Bunshin."

"Don't let your guard down, kids. Suiton: Suiryuudan no jutsu!"

A huge dragon made entirely of water rose out of the lake and rushed towards the three ninja. Kiba and Akamaru dodged in the nick of time, while Shikamaru was hit by the full impact of the attack. Ino managed to escape, albeit very drenched.

"Shikamaru!"

"Aww... She's worried about her friend... Why don't you go join him in hell!"

Another water dragon rushed towards Ino. It appeared to be the end until...

"KONOHA DAI SENPUU!"

A bright green flash blocked the stream of water with a loud splash.

"Ugh. Who the hell are you?"

"I am Konoha's handsome green beast, Fear the youthful power of... MAITO GAI!"

Ping went his teeth.

There he stood in his "good guy" pose, clad in his green "good guy" suit, wearing a very wide "good guy" grin, and carrying a blissfully unconscious Shikamaru. The spectacle would have been moving if it wasn't for its tackyness.

Ino sighed. _I know green is the new black, but this guy simply CAN'T make that outfit look good._

Gai basked in his self-imposed awesomeness and wished that Lee was there. He would have died with awe.

Morimoto just stood there, mouth half agape. The other side of his mouth was sewn shut, so he couldn't gape properly. _What the hell? Is this guy a ninja?_

The teeth went ping again.

---

Shino knew he was going to be fighting Tajoumaru. Why? Because he saw the lecherous shinobi eye Sakura in a not-so-benign way. He knew that that man would come after them and kill him and Lee, and then have his way with the kunoichi. Shino was not about to let that happen. Shino would protect Sakura's honor at all costs.

"You seem to be quite protective of Sakura all of a sudden, Shino-sama."

_Be quiet, Oda. If I wanted your input, I would ask you for it. I simply do not want Sakura, or any of my teammates, defiled. I would do the same for Hinata._

"Pssh. If you ask me, I think you're just protecting her because you want her for yourself."

_Again, if I wanted your input, I'd ask for... WHAT DID YOU SAY?_

"You want Sakura to remain 'unspoiled' for you."

_I never knew bugs to be so perverted._

"Well, we do get quite frisky during mating season."

_All I am saying is, regardless of the feelings I might have for Sakura, I don't have such base physical interests in mind._

"AHA! So you DO have feelings for Sakura!"

_You probably think you are quite clever, Oda. Now let me ask you something. If I were to squash one bug in my army of over a million, how much would it affect my fighting capability?_

"Well, it wouldn't affect it at all. Why?"

Oda was answered by a vengeful thumb and forefinger.

_He'll be back. They ALWAYS come back._

The trio leapt from the last tree branch into a clearing where they saw Tajoumaru waiting.

"Hey, there." Tajoumaru winked at Sakura. Sakura shuddered.

"STAY AWAY FROM HER!" Lee shouted.

"Heh. I will, o unstylish one. I'll make sure not to put a scratch on her while I kill you guys. I want to enjoy her unscarred.

"You are a sick bastard."

Sakura, Lee, and Tajoumaru looked in surprise at Shino.

_DAMN IT! I've spoken more than enough! Why are you still surprised? And YOU!_ Shino thought, sending mental daggers at Tajoumaru, _YOU haven't even met me, so you wouldn't know that I'm the quiet type!_

The only evidence of this mental monologue was a minute twitching in Shino's right eyebrow.

Sakura paled at Tajoumaru's threats. She was scared now. Countless missions had taught her not to fear death, but violation was a fate worse than death. It meant dishonor for the rest of one's life. She would never be able to enter a relationship without being tormented by memories of what had happened to her. She would not lose. She would show this perverted bastard the wrath of the Fifth Hokage's apprentice!

Lee noticed Sakura grinding her teeth in anticipation and anger. He took a ready position. Shino lifted his arms and bugs began to crawl out of his sleeves. The newly revived Oda was commanding the army from behind Shino's ear.

_Oda. I want you and a squad of bugs to get to that sword as soon as possible. I will plant a female there. All you have to do is follow the scent._

"Got it."

"Lee. I have a plan. I need you to fight our opponent long enough for me to put the plan into action. Sakura. Stay behind me.

"No."

"What?"

"No. I won't be protected any longer. I'm going to kill this bastard!"

"All right... Maybe his aversion to hitting you could throw him off balance. Good idea."

The three shinobi rushed at Tajoumaru, hoping to Kami-Sama that Shino's plan would work.

---

The chapter was getting really long, so I decided to cut it off right here. THE PLOT THICKENS YET AGAIN? WILL TEN-TEN BE ABLE TO BEAT KINIRO? WILL NARUTO, CHOUJI, AND HINATA SURVIVE AGAINST THE ONSLAUGHT OF ODORUWA? WILL SHINO'S PLAN WORK? WILL KAKASHI MAKE IT IN TIME TO SAVE WHOEVER? WILL GAI EVER GET A BETTER FASHION SENSE? IF HE DOES, WILL LEE FOLLOW SUIT? FIND OUT IN THE NEXT EXCITING EPISODE OF...

All right, Gai, you can cut out the announcer crap.

"But I was on a roll! AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN WILL I GET A FASHION SENSE?"

Hey, I'm the writer. You are my pawn. I don't legally own you. Anyway, that's the insanely long chapter 4! Some reasons why I chose Chouji to be with Naruto and Hinata:

1: Chouji doesn't have the spotlight enough.

2: I wanted to mix up the teams a bit. It didn't go quite as planned, but it's good enough for me.

3: Chouji vs. a giant sword... endless possibilities.

Sorry to end on a cliffhanger, but I write quickly. The next chapter should be up soon.


	5. Decisive Maneuvers

YO, and welcome to another chapter! I haven't been getting many reviews, so I have added a gimmick! I shall now have special guests for my intro! Today's special guest for reading the disclaimer is our favorite sand-nin, SABBAKU NO GAARA! COME ON DOWN!

"..."

Read the disclaimer, Gaara.

"..."

Come on... I'll give you a cookie...

"..."

I'll let you kill someone...

"I thought you'd never ask. Disclaimer: Naruto does not belong to MasterFroda. There. Let me kill someone."

Ok. Oh miscellaneous sound-nin!

"Yeah?"

Come here for a second.

"SABBAKU SOUSOU! Ahh... that felt good."

ON WITH THE SHOW!

**The Most Dangerous Game**

_Decisive Maneuvers_

_---_

"I am going to take my time with you kids..."

Odoruwa cracked his neck and then stuck his finger with a kunai. A bit of blood ran out.

Naruto began to get worried. _He's using Kuchiyose? THAT'S taking his time?_

Odoruwa formed the appropriate seals.

"Relax. I'm not summoning any animals. KUCHIYOSE NO JUTSU!"

A thick cloud of smoke appeared and quickly dissipated as a very, very large object was swung.

_No wonder he didn't carry the sword on his back... That thing's huge!_

Indeed it was, as the sword was at least three times the size of the wielder. Chains ran up the blunt side, and at the very end, there was a large prayer bell. The entire sword was covered in prayer tags and holy Shinto zigzag paper. The bladed side looked rather fearsome, as it was slightly jagged from age and overuse without proper sharpening. Nevertheless, the blade didn't need to cut. It could crush with its sheer weight. Odoruwa didn't seem to have any trouble wielding the blade with ease, though.

Hinata was gaping at the blade in awe and horror. Naruto's brows furrowed. Chouji's eyes bulged proportionately to his belly.

"Don't worry, just leave everything to me! I'll beat the crap out of this guy!"

Hinata could hear Naruto's voice waver a bit under his brave façade.

"Naruto-kun..."

"Hey, Naruto. I'm not letting you have all the fun. I have some special new jutsu that will be perfect for this kind of battle!"

"All right! Chouji! Hinata! Follow me! Kage Bunshin no jutsu!"

The 3 Genin, not counting the 4 Naruto bunshins, rushed at Odoruwa.

"Foolish."

With a hefty swing, Odoruwa sliced through all of the bunshins, but the three real Genin jumped over the blade. Chouji decided to make his move.

"Baika no jutsu!"

As usual, Chouji turned into a large ball of flesh. Then, he started using his Meatball Tank attack to roll towards Odoruwa. Odoruwa brought the sword right down on Chouji, but something other than the desired result happened.

"Mashumarou no jutsu!"

Chouji literally split into two different Choujis that were still carreening at Odoruwa. This time, Odoruwa used a horizontal strike and split the two meatballs into four. All four were still just as large and still rolling at Odoruwa.

"Hmph. You think this sword is all I have? Suiton: Suishouha!"

A huge wave of water came crashing down on the four rolling balls and rendered them inert. Three of them disappeared in puffs of smoke.

"Chouji! What happened?"

"My Mashumarou no jutsu creates exact doubles of myself when I am cut or pierced. It only lasts while I'm spinning, though..."

"All right. I guess it's my turn, then."

Naruto formed his familiar Kage Bunshin seal and about fifty Narutos were created. All of them began to attack.

"Still using the same jutsu? Pathetic! Doton: Yomi Numa!"

Hinata's mind raced. _The Mizukage did not tell us that he could use Doton. Just Suiton and Katon... But then again, he did say that even he didn't know exactly what Odoruwa could do. Naruto-kun... please be all right..._

Naruto was far from all right as all of his Kage Bunshins were trapped in a large mire and quickly sinking. Naruto himself was in this mess, and was trying to think of a way out as he went under...

"**Kit."**

_Who's there?_

"**Don't you remember? It's me. The reason you aren't a complete failure."**

_Kyuubi. What do you want?_

"**Well, it seems that you're about to suffocate. I'm just here to bail you out... As always."**

With that, the Kyuubi let loose an enormous amount of red chakra and flooded Naruto's body with it. Back in the real world, Naruto found himself drowning in mud. He struggled to get to the top so he could breathe, and then he heard...

Hinata was first shocked, then sad, and then a new emotion rushed into her... The first time she actually felt such an emotion... anger.

"You."

Hinata's eyes narrowed as veins popped up along her temples. Even with his combat training, those eyes made Odoruwa's blood run cold. Hinata, however, was in complete control of her anger, and she spoke in a calm, level tone, noticeably lacking her usual stutter.

"You will not harm him further."

Hinata had never really perfected the Rokujuu Yonshou, but something seemed to click. She rushed Odoruwa, and before he could respond...

"YOU..."

Wham wham

"WILL..."

Wham wham wham wham

"NOT..."

Wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham

"HURT..."

Wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham

NARUTO-KUN!"

Wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham

"HAKKE ROKUJUU YONSHOU!"

Wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham wham and WHAM!

Odoruwa fell to the ground. The initial fall wasn't so bad until his sword fell on top of him. Lucky for him, it was the blunt side, but still, a two-ton chunk of steel can hurt.

Right after Hinata finished her attack, Naruto burst from the mud. Hinata rushed to his side in tears and clung to him. She was completely spent from mental anguish and chakra depletion. Naruto returned the hug; he had heard what happened. He was grateful that someone besides Iruka and Kakashi cared for him. He was interrupted from his warm thoughts by a very cold and ragged voice.

"You...BITCH! I will kill you slowly!"

Hinata's eyes became wide with fear. No one was supposed to be able to get up after suffering the Hakke Rokujuu Yonshou. Well, no one except Naruto, of course.

"This tender moment disgusts me. You and your friends will DIE!"

---

"My, my..." Kakashi stared blankly into the mist. "What a useless jutsu. I can see you with this eye."

"You're bluffing. I know you are."

"Am I?"

Kakashi made an about-face and threw a kunai.

"Heh. Looks like you weren't bluffing. I suppose I can release the jutsu, but I like it so much better this way..."

_I was, in fact, bluffing. I just threw the kunai at his voice. It was a gamble, but it looks like it only half worked. I'd better keep talking._

Kakashi drew another kunai.

"So why did you abandon the village? For money? Power? Infamy?"

"That's none of your concern!"

Kakashi whipped the kunai which was dodged again. Another kunai was drawn.

"Come on... If you kill me, the information won't leak. I'm just another friendly foe. You can tell me."

"Keh. You're right. I suppose I could tell you that I wanted to follow in Zabuza's footsteps."

"Is that all?"

"That, and the boss isn't one to argue with."

"You mean Odoruwa."

"Yeah."

"You want to die like Zabuza?"

"What? Get killed by you? If you win, I will have no regrets."

"I didn't kill Zabuza."

"You didn't? Who did?"

"His boss."

"So you're saying... If I'm to follow in Zabuza's footsteps, Odoruwa has to kill me?"

"Yeah, or have somone else do the dirty work."

"You're a sick, lying bastard."

"Believe what you will."

Kakashi's banter had an adverse effect on Raiken. He was goaded to get close, which was exactly what Kakashi wanted. Raiken attacked recklessly; his emotions got the better of him. Kakashi easily maneuvered out of the way and pinned Raiken to the ground with a Kunai at the back of his neck.

"This is the end. I can take you into custody, if you want... Eh?"

Kakashi looked down to see that Raiken was sobbing.

"Liar! You can't be telling the truth! Zabuza got himself killed by his own boss? He wasn't killed in battle?"

"Zabuza's ambition got the better of him and he fell into a bad crowd. It was his partner, Haku, that helped him see the error of his ways. He atoned for his crimes in death."

"Then... I shouldn't be doing this..."

"You got that right. Get out of here. Go back to the Mizukage and beg for forgiveness."

Raiken said nothing as he solemnly ran towards the Hidden Mist village. The fog cleared.

_I'd better get to that battle before it's too late._

---

"You may have a daisho, but do you know how to use it?"

"My family specializes in weapons of all types. Of course I know how to use a daisho."

Ten-Ten and Kiniro faced off in the trees. Kurenai and Neji were lying in a heap, both semi-conscious.

"Are you all right, Kurenai-sensei?"

"I'm fine... At least my condition is stable. Being caught in an explosion is not the most delightful experience. You?"

"That guy hit my blind spot. I won't be able to fight for a while. Give him hell, Ten-Ten."

Ten-Ten didn't hear Neji's mumbling, but she knew what he said. She twirled the blades in her hands.

"Your move."

Kiniro rushed Ten-Ten, aiming to slice with both blades. Ten-Ten sidestepped the attack and brought her wakizashi in a downward stab. Kiniro parried with his own wakizashi and countered with the katana. Ten-Ten spun around Kiniro and tried to hit his back with her katana. The combatants were now in a deadlock, only their backs were facing each other. They both tried to kick each other, but they ended up pushing off each other's feet and flew in opposite directions. Kiniro landed on a tree branch while Ten-Ten pushed off of a tree and flew towards her opponent. Their swords began to move with blinding speed, and they began to hum through the air as they clashed. The combatants each stood their ground; neither one gave or accepted an inch. Their legs were firmly planted on one branch while their upper bodies were in violent yet graceful motion. This time, it was Neji's turn to drool. He had never seen a fight like this, where both shinobi were of equal strength and had such a mastery of their art. All of his battles tended to be quick wins, or in rare cases, wins or losses through a fluke.

Ten-Ten's mind was completely blank. There was no room for thought; the fight required her entire mind and body. Kiniro was shocked to see that a mere genin could match his skill in kenjutsu. He needed to end this quickly. Right after he blocked Ten-Ten's subsequent attack, he jumped back and made a long string of hand seals.

"Suiton: Suikoudan no jutsu!"

A rush of water came forth from between his hands and shot towards Ten-Ten. Just before it hit, someone knocked Ten-Ten out of the way of the blast.

"Neji?"

"You bought me enough time to recover. Thank you. I'll take it from here."

"Oh, no you don't. We're doing this together."

"All right. Kurenai-Sensei! Can you fight?"

"I think I can, now. I'll back you up."

"Right. Let's go."

Neji and Ten-Ten double-teamed Kiniro, who was now outnumbered and outmatched. If he had his other swords, numbers would not have been a problem, but he was now limited in his attack capability. He was still at peak defense, however, and he decided to sheathe the wakizashi in favor of the broadsword. Even if these were particularly skilled genin, he was still superior. And he was better looking than the white-eyed guy.

"There isn't room enough in this world for two bishounen, Hyuuga! I will end you!"

"You're not a real bishounen."

"WHAT? HOW DARE YOU! I am the most beautiful male in the entire world!"

"Bishounen need angst to be real bishounen. I have plenty of that. Do you?"

"I... uh... Of course I do!"

"Oh, enough, already!"

Ten-Ten interrupted the "cat fight" with a hefty swing aimed for Kiniro's neck. Kiniro ducked just in time to be relieved of his perfect hair.

"NO! You bitch! You'll pay for that!"

"I don't think so. Jyuuken!"

Neji unleashed all of his remaining chakra into his palm as he slammed it into Kiniro's chest. Kiniro fell from the trees and landed with an audible thump.

"He's unconscious at best. Let's take him in to the Mizukage so he can receive punishment if he's not dead yet."

Kurenai leapt from the trees.

"Did I really get his hair, Kurenai?" Ten-Ten asked.

"You only got the tip. I made him think he became bald with my genjutsu. That threw him off balance for Neji to deliver the final blow."

"Who would have thought that such a competent ninja would be so worried about his looks?"

Ten-Ten stared at Neji.

"What?"

---

If Shikamaru knew he was unconscious, he would have been glad. He would not have wanted to be awake during what transpired. He was caught by Gai, of all people, and then he would have had to endure another one of Gai's "youthful rants" while being slung over his shoulder. He woke up as he was set down against a nearby tree. All he could see were a pair of sparkling white teeth set against a background of green. Shikamaru decided to stay unconscious.

"ALL RIGHT! I SHALL END YOUR UNLAWFUL ANTICS RIGHT HERE!"

"SHUT UP, YOU GREEN MONKEY! YOU IRRITATE ME!"

Morimoto shot out one of his swords at Gai, who quickly caught it. Morimoto smirked.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you."

Dozens of spikes shot out of the handle. Gai instantly let go of the blade.

"My blade answers only to my grasp. All of the Shinobi-Gatana have made this pact. As long as we live, our swords will not be wielded by another!"

Gai made a mental note of this, and decided to unleash his own weapon.

"TCHUOOOOOAH! BEHOLD THE NUNCHAKU!"

"What about 'em?"

"THEY SHALL BE YOUR DOWNFALL! KYOOOOOOOIII!"

With that kiai, Gai twirled his nunchaku and began to sprint towards Morimoto. Morimoto sent out numerous flurries from his chain swords, but all potential strikes were evaded or blocked. Gai closed in on Morimoto and delivered a very satisfying whack to the missing-nin's face. Morimoto sailed into the air before landing in the lake. Gai could hear his voice echoing from below.

"Heheheh... You know why half of my mouth is sewn shut? It is to remind me never to use 'this' jutsu under any but the most dire circumstances. I think it's time I squashed you."

Morimoto burst out of the water with his chains trailing behind him. While in the air, he formed the ram seal and opened his mouth widely.

"SUITON: TEPPOUDAMA!"

An enormous torrent of water poured forth from his mouth directly at Gai. Gai found himself unable to dodge the blast; it was so enormous. He braced for the impact. Kiba, who had largely been ignored up to this point, saw his chance.

"TSUUGA!"

Kiba spiraled upward in a human cyclone and rammed himself right into the small of Morimoto's back. With a tortured scream, Morimoto fell from the air and landed on the ground, where Akamaru plowed into him with another Tsuuga. Surprisingly, Morimoto was still alive, although he could not will his legs to move.

"You... What have you done to my legs?"

"I hit the small of your back. I basically broke your spinal column at that point from the impact. Your legs are now useless."

Morimoto smiled a bit to himself in his loss. He would not be bitter. He would accept his punishment from the Mizukage. Death would not be too bad at this point, seeing as how he would not be able to retain his status as a ninja.

Ino stood up. She was unable to do anything during the entire fight from the point Gai arrived. She was first too shocked by Gai himself, then by his antics, then by his and Morimoto's displays of aptitude in their various arts. The fight was over before she could collect herself. She looked at Gai. He was out cold. She began wondering which unconscious person she'd have to carry when she heard a familiar voice.

"Hey. What happened?"

"SHIKAMARU! DON'T SNEAK UP ON ME LIKE THAT!"

"Hm... So we won, huh?"

"What do you mean, 'We'? You were out cold for half the fight!"

"Yeah, but you weren't doing much, either."

"How did you know? You weren't really unconscious, were you!"

"I would like to have been. Gai isn't the first person I'd like to see when I wake up from being hit head on by a suiton jutsu."

"Hmph. Just for that, YOU'RE carrying him."

"Whatever. I was going to do it anyway. I can't let girls do heavy lifting."

"WHY YOU... Ugh... just forget it."

"Thank you, I will."

_Sometimes he makes me want to kill him!_

Shikamaru picked up Gai and headed back toward the village. Kiba followed, carrying Morimoto over his shoulder. Ino and Akamaru brought up the rear.

---

"Lee! Take the front! Sakura! Get the flank! I'll take the rear!"

Shino barked orders in a manner that was rather uncharacteristic of him. Maybe without Kiba pretending to be the leader, Shino could really use his tactical skills. He planted the bug on Tajoumaru's sword just like he planned.

Lee was having some trouble fighting Tajoumaru. Dodging his attacks was easy enough, but there was a smell that permeated the air around him. It wasn't a bad smell, but it was familiar. It smelled like...

_Where am I? Who is this guy? Snap out of it!_

Tajoumaru knew the drill. Lull the opponents into thinking he was inept, and then spring a trap. This green kid was pretty tough. It was time. A finger twitched slightly on the hilt, and suddenly, a flap opened on the side of the sword, and dozens of needles shot out.

Lee was hit in multiple places with the needles. He could feel a burning sensation through his body.

"Lee-san!"

Sakura rushed over to him, but he seemed to be more or less all right.

"HAHA! Those needles are coated with a special poison! You're going to die in a matter of minutes!"

Tajoumaru lifted his bottle of poison, only to realize that the bottle was not filled with poison. He had been careless the other night, and had dipped his needles in this bottle which read, in big letters, "SAKÉ"

"Crap. Oh, well. So the needles will only burn a bit. They'll still hurt!"

Lee's eyes were getting rather heavy, and a pink tinge lit his cheeks. A large amount of alcohol was injected directly into his circulatory system. He began to stagger a bit.

"Heh! What's wrong? Can't take your liquor?"

Lee's brows began to furrow. Shino and Sakura looked at him quizzically. Lee staggered backwards and then screamed.

"HEY! WHAT'SCHA LOOKIN' AT, BASCHTARD?"

"Ha ha! We have a fighting drunk over here! Damn, this is funny."

"Shumthin' funny, pardner? You wanna shay shomething to my fasche?"

"Heh. Let's see if you can fight drunk."

Tajoumaru punched at Lee, but the fist was caught and Tajoumaru was lifted and thrown into the ground.

"What the hell? Is this guy a Seiken fighter? He's way faster than before!"

Tajoumaru flipped upwards from his downed position and began to attack with his sword. Lee dodged a few blows and then caught the sword's blade between his teeth.

"The hell?"

Lee slid under Tajoumaru's arm, twisting him forwards. Lee flipped up and finished sitting on Tajoumaru's head. He yawned.

"That's it! Time to bring out the big guns!"

Tajoumaru tried to use one of his chakra triggers, but it wouldn't budge. He tried another. The same result occurred. Then, he saw bugs crawling out of the openings. He glared daggers at Shino.

"You bastard. You've underestimated me."

Tajoumaru pulled hard on one of the triggers and it let loose a poisonous gas. The on the sword was sealed shut, so all the gas was trapped inside. After a few seconds, all of the mechanisms in the sword functioned perfectly. A large number of dead bugs fell out as Tajoumaru opened the valves in the blade. Lee was caught in the gas and inhaled a small amount. Combined with the alcohol in his system, the poison knocked him out.

_He gassed them!_

Shino heard a small voice crying.

"I had... entrusted the task... to my brother..."

_Don't worry, Oda. He will not have died in vain. He is about to witness the full fury of the swarm. Mobilize the entire army!_

"Yes...sniff Yes sir!"

Shino began to radiate a severe killing intent. Bugs began to swarm around him, but they didn't stop at his hands. The bugs started whirling around him in a maelstrom comparable to a plague of locusts. Then suddenly, the bugs all clung to Shino, turning him into a mound of insects. The mound began to take form, as the others heard a voice that definitely belonged to Shino.

"Aburame style Taijutsu: Dance of the Mantis."

Both allies and enemies stood frozen in abject terror. The clump of bugs took on the form of a giant, black praying mantis. Shino's sunglasses were visible where the eyes would be. Then, with a blood-curdling screech from one million mouths, the mantis attacked. Tajoumaru tried to spring a trap, but all attacks were useless. The mantis' blades sliced right through Tajoumaru's sword, releasing a spray of gas and needles. Before Shino could deliver the coup de graçe, however, the bugs dissipated and flew back into Shino's jacket. Shino collapsed on the ground.

_That attack drained me of all my chakra. The bugs take a hefty toll when you put them around you..._ Shino's thoughts faded into darkness.

Sakura grabbed Shino out of the way before Tajoumaru could react. His glasses had fallen off, but he had his eyes closed, so all she could see were his eyelids. He actually didn't look so creepy without the glasses.

Tajoumaru's terror turned into glee. "Hee hee! That creep can't fight anymore! The green guy has been knocked out by my gas! All right, pretty lady... It's just you and me, so let's get comfy..."

"I don't think so, assassin."

Asuma showed up behind Tajoumaru with one of his blades at Tajoumaru's throat.

"Ah! Asuma-san!" A smirk appeared on Tajoumaru's face. "How's your father?"

"Don't goad me into killing you. Mizukage would prefer you alive, but he said that if killing you was necessary, I should do so."

"What? It was an innocent question. How's Sandaime? Is he as weak as ever?"

"He's dead."

"I was waiting for him to kick the bucket. Who did it? Someone from the Rain? The Stone?"

"Orochimaru."

"Well, isn't this ironic? The guy who saves the old man's life ends it himself! Serves the old bastard right! I'm just sad that I didn't see it myselggrhhh..."

Asuma's anger got the better of him, and the former Mist shinobi was no more.

"Bastard. That wasn't as satisfying as I had hoped. Sakura. Carry Shino. I'll carry the other two."

Sakura gingerly picked up Shino and his glasses and followed Asuma towards the village.

---

"I'll kill all of you! I'll rip out your organs! I'll eat your flesh!"

Odoruwa was going berzerk with rage. Hinata's attack served only to make the monstrous ninja angry. It had to have hurt, though, to have made such a mental impact. She must have done _some_ damage.

"I'll start with the little girl. Are you afraid of me? Do you want to run? GO AHEAD! TRY AND RUN! I'LL CUT YOU TO PIECES!"

Hinata was seriously considering Odoruwa's suggestion, but something else did her running for her. In an instant, she found herself being dragged by a large nin-dog. Naruto and Chouji underwent a similar experience, as Kakashi ran alongside the caravan.

"NEH? What are you doing, Kakashi-sensei? We didn't need to retreat!"

"Yes you did, Naruto. This guy is not like Zabuza. He's totally out of your league. We need to regroup at the village."

---

Odoruwa stood there. His prey had escaped. Rage was beginning to boil, until he was calmed by a silky voice.

"It's been a while, hasn't it, Odoruwa-kun?"

"Hmph. I was wondering when you'd crawl out of the shadows. What is it you want?"

"I want you to relax, Odoruwa-kun. I want you to take some time off."

"What? Why..."

Odoruwa was cut off by a pair of fangs on his neck. A trio of black spiraling bruises appeared on his neck.

"Sleep, Odoruwa-kun. After a week, you will resume your vigil... Under me."

Orochimaru laughed. Orochimaru laughed loudly.

Sasuke knew the time was right to escape.

---

The action scenes are DONE! High five, Gaara!

"..."

...Ok... anyway, there will be more action later on, but I'd like to do some romance development, so the group will be stuck in the Mist for a while. And what is Sasuke up to?

"FIND OUT IN THE NEXT CHAPTER!"

Gai? I thought you were unconscious... Oh, well. Gaara, take care of Gai.

"With pleasure."

Anyway, as Gai said, I'll see you all next chapter!


	6. The Secret Stage

Ok, I still haven't been getting many reviews, although maybe it's because I don't give these chapters enough time to be read before I write another one. I swear, I myself am addicted to my own story! I need to know what happens next! So anyway, as my gimmick dictates, I will have a cameo read the disclaimer. And here he is; Uchiha Itachi in a speedo for all you Itachi fans out there!

"...Why am I wearing this?"

It's for the female fans, man. We have to appeal to the females!

"You already are going to. This chapter marks the beginning of the fluff. You don't need me in this ridiculous outfit."

You know what, Itachi? You're right! I don't need JUST you! Presenting: Sasori, also wearing a speedo!

"What the hell?"

NOW MAKE OUT FOR ALL OF OUR YAOI FANS OUT THERE!

"Let's kill this guy."

"Ok."

Crap. Well, uh... here's the disclaimer! On with the show!

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto in any way shape or form, although I happen to be having the crap beaten out of me by the two bishi members of Akatsuki...

**The Most Dangerous Game**

_The Secret Stage_

"So, Only three of you have returned. I expect some explanation for your actions."

The Mizukage puffed peacefully on his hookah as he addressed his traitorous shinobi. Raiken raised his head from his kowtow.

"Mizukage-sama, we have acted in error. We listened to Odoruwa's reasoning and since he was the strongest of us, we followed."

"And just what was Odoruwa's reasoning?"

"He said that the other Shinobi-gatana had betrayed Kirigakure village, and that we should follow suit. Now that I look back on it, it was a very folly decision, but we had no choice. We beg your forgiveness."

"I grant you all partial pardons for your actions. Two of you shall be reinstated as shinobi of this village, but I am going to do what I should have done years ago..."

The Mizukage formed the seal of the ram and placed his hands on Raiken's and Kiniro's foreheads. A sharp pain burned through their entire bodies and they collapsed as their foreheads smoked. Seals, not unlike the ones used on the Hyuuga branch family, were burned into their heads with chakra. They were now bound to the village and the Mizukage.

"As for you, Morimoto, I needn't give you the same punishment, as your legs are now useless. You will be reinstated as a base-bound tactician, as we still have use for your brilliant mind. All three of you are on probation, and shall be accompanied by some of the Konoha ninja. Now, Asuma, I want a report on my other two missing-nin.

"Yes, Mizukage-dono. Tajoumaru is dead, with a laceration to the throat, so he shall not be a problem any longer."

The Mizukage frowned. He had wanted his shinobi alive, but it appears that he would only settle with four, at best.

"Odoruwa is still at large, and his location at this point is unknown."

The Mizukage's frown deepened. Of all the shinobi to be on the loose, it had to be _him_. The most dangerous assassin in Water Country was nowhere to be found, and he was planning a coup.

"You are all dismissed. The Konoha ninja shall stay here until my scouts find Odoruwa. They are still on their mission. Gennosuke."

"Hai."

"Give them quarters to stay in. I shall provide for all financial needs; you just have to send me the bill. We won't have a repeat panic like last time."

"Hai. Thank you, Mizukage-sama."

Gennosuke led the Konoha nins out of the Mizukage's tower.

"We have made many breakthroughs in aquatic living. Our most recent accomplishment is our underwater residential building. You all will stay in there."

"Is it safe?" Kurenai inquired.

"Believe me, we have gone through plenty of prototypes before we built this one. I can guarantee you that the structure will not buckle under the water pressure. Even if an alligator rams the thing it will not budge. If Odoruwa attacks, however, I cannot guarantee your safety underwater. Ah. We are here."

Gennosuke beamed at the glass cylinder that stood before them. It was large enough to hold the entire group, albeit tightly.

"This is it? It isn't even underwater..."

"It's an elevator, Naruto no baka!" Sakura chided.

The group squeezed into the cylinder and Gennosuke pushed a few buttons inside. They could hear a hiss from the top as the cylinder began to lower into the water. The low-tech village that they had seen was a complete contrast to what they were experiencing now. They descended down a very long transparent shaft and they marveled at the clear water and all of the marine life that lived under the docks. Naruto looked below them and it seemed that the tube traveled endlessly, but then he saw a few lights at the bottom of the lake.

"Look! That must be it!"

Indeed, Naruto saw the underwater complex. It was a breathtaking sight, as it sprawled out nearly as far as the city above. It was riddled with portholes that glowed from the light inside.

The elevator slid down into a hatch at the top of the complex. They stopped in a watertight chamber where a door opened and they stepped out. What they saw beyond the doors was amazing. The lobby into which they stepped was elegantly decorated with a crystal chandelier in the center of the ceiling. There were doors lining the walls of the lobby, with a desk opposite the elevator door.

"This," Gennosuke proudly stated, "Is the real Kirigakure."

"Real? What of the village above?" Sakura asked.

"That village is just a front. The poor villagers you see up there are actually volunteer ninja who pose as peasants. If an enemy should attack, they would not find the real village; instead, they would find dozens of enemy shinobi. Even the Mizukage up there is a fake. He's a kage bunshin."

Kakashi was stunned. None of this was ever known outside of Kirigakure village. He now knew the reason why the Mizukage could afford to pick up their expenses. This place was rich. Very rich.

"Why are you telling us this?" Kakashi asked, "We are a potential threat to you."

"The Mizukage wants us to extend our full hospitality, and that is what we shall do. Besides, I know that Konoha can easily be trusted. It has turned out less missing-nin than any other country, and it has never started a war, except for the war that started upon its creation. All I ask is that none of this pass your lips to another. Not even your Hokage must know about this."

Gennosuke's mood brightened considerably.

"But enough about politics. Let's get you all to the hospital wing."

It was true that many of the shinobi were injured, but most of them could still walk. In fact, the only two that couldn't walk on their own were Kurenai and Shino. Kurenai needed to lean on Asuma for support, and Shino was completely unconscious. Kiba was carrying him.

The group walked through an impeccably cleaned white hallway into a medical sub-complex. The ninja were all separated according to their injuries. Shino was laid on a hospital bed with his glasses on a nearby table. All of the ninja fell into a deep sleep in their respective treatment rooms.

---

Shino woke up with a start.

_Something seems out of place. Where am I? A hospital? All right, but something still seems wrong... MY GLASSES!_

Shino quickly sat up and found his precious sunglasses on the bedside table. He put them on.

_Thank goodness I was unconscious. I can't let anyone see my eyes._

---

A figure crept into the lobby, completely unseen by the maitre-d. He silently sprinted into the hospital wing and took shelter in a closet where he, too, fell asleep.

---

"I apologize that you all were forced to stay in hospital beds for your first night here. We shall begin the trek to the residential and commercial sub-complex right away."

Gennosuke roused the ninja out of their beds.

"Raiken, Kiniro, and Morimoto; your wounds are a bit more severe than the others'. I would ask you three to remain in the hospital."

The three shinobi nodded from their respective beds. Morimoto fell back asleep while Raiken lay awake and Kiniro preened himself.

Chouji's stomach growled.

"I want to eat meat..."

"You won't find much red meat here, Akimichi-san, but we do have alligator."

"I've never had alligator..."

"Chouji, I'm surprised at you! You're an Akimichi, one of the greatest connoisseurs in the world!" Asuma exclaimed. "You tell me you haven't had alligator before?"

"Asuma..." Shikamaru sighed, "Alligators don't live in Konoha, and we don't import meat that much..."

"Oh. Right... That's my genius student!"

Shikamaru sighed again.

Gennosuke led his guests into a huge dome-shaped room filled with bustling people. Exotic sights and smells filled the shinobi's senses as they walked down a wide flight of stairs into the central plaza.

"I've n-never seen anything like this... it's amazing..."

Not many people heard Hinata speak to herself in the din of people going about their business. The smells of cooking food made the shinobi realize that they, too, were hungry.

"Anou saa, Gennosuke-san! Do you have ramen here?"

"Some restaurants might serve ramen, but we haven't had much call for it around here. I'm not sure where a ramen stand might be. I'm sure you could find it if you looked hard enough."

Naruto's face fell a bit. Ramen was his one all-time favorite food. He couldn't spend a day without at least one bowl.

Kakashi took command of the group. "All right, I think we should split up to find different restaurants that would suit our tastes more. I'm actually with Naruto; I'm in the mood for some ramen myself."

"YES! Kakashi-sensei has seen the light!"

Kakashi stared blankly at Naruto.

"C-can... um... can I go with you?"

"Of course, Hinata! The more the merrier!" Naruto's face stretched into an exaggerated grin.

The shinobi decided to split up into two groups. Naruto, Kakashi, Hinata, Kiba, Neji, Ten-Ten, Lee, and Gai went off to search for ramen, while Chouji, Shikamaru, Ino, Shino, Kurenai, Asuma, and Sakura were led by Gennosuke to a barbeque pit where they served alligator and seafood. Sakura wasn't big on ramen, and that was the reason why she split from Naruto and Kakashi. She also had to formulate her plan with Shino.

Shino knew that he should have stayed with Naruto and Hinata to watch over them, but he absolutely hated ramen. He had to have something substantial to eat. His group approached a door at the far end of the plaza that had a stylized alligator painted over it.

Gennosuke led the way in and asked for a large table, which he got instantly. The shinobi all sat down around the table.

"Ne, Shino." Sakura whispered, "Are we going to enact the plan now that we're free for a while?"

"I think that's wise, but we should do it in front of Naruto, or else it would be for naught. Also, I have to have a little talk with Hinata beforehand. But we have to make this display believable. You have to have a reason for choosing me instead of Sasuke."

That name brought back memories.

"Oh, um... Well, I could work off the fight... One of the reasons that I liked Sasuke was that he was so cool, and, I must admit, you looked really cool out there."

Shino had only rarely been complimented, and he was never called "cool."

"I'm flattered, Sakura. Also, we need to come up with a reason for me to 'come out of my shell,' so to speak, and start dating you."

"Maybe it was _my_ cool display during the fight. I know I didn't do much, but nobody knows that except you, me, and Lee, and Lee was drunk at the time."

"A good idea. I could have gotten a new respect for you after the battle, seeing as how you saved my life, and maybe it blossomed into more."

"Yeah. That sounds believable. It isn't the best, but Naruto falls for everything."

A waiter interrupted their conversation. "Are you all ready to order?"

"Give me some ALLIGATOR!"

Asuma sighed at his pupil. "All right, Chouji, that's enough..."

The rest of the group ordered and resumed their conversations. Little did they know that they were being watched by a pair of coal black eyes.

---

"LEE! Tell me about your marvelous fight!"

"Gai-sensei, it was spectacular! Sakura-san, Shino-san, and I followed a stupendous plan concocted by Shino-san. All was going well until I was hit by some needles, and then everything became hazy, but I do remember fighting the enemy very vigorously. Then, the enemy hit me with some knockout gas and I fell unconscious, but I did manage to see Shino-san's taijutsu move! I never knew bugs could be so useful in hand-to-hand combat!"

"YOSH! That's my pupil! Always brimming with youthful power and strength!"

"Yes, I know, Gai, we're all in the springtime of youth."

"KAAAI! Kakashi! You are SO INFURIATINGLY COOL! No wonder you are my eternal rival!"

"Gai-sensei, people are starting to stare..."

"Oh. Right. Thank you, Ten-Ten."

"Ne, Hinata, can you use your eyes to track for ramen? I'm starving!"

"S-sure, Naruto-kun..."

Hinata activated her byakugun and looked at her surroundings within a fifty meter radius. Then, she saw what she was looking for. She saw a small booth that said, in big red letters, RAMEN.

"I see it! F-follow me."

Naruto was slightly surprised by Hinata's momentary raising of her voice. He felt that he had never _really_ heard her voice until then.

_She's always whispering. Why is that? I should probably find out. Ramen is tasty. I wonder what flavors they have at the stand. Will it be as good as Ichiraku's ramen? What is under Kakashi-sensei's mask? Will Gai ever get a fashion sense?_

As Naruto continued his stream-of-consciousness thought pattern, the group arrived at the ramen stand. Luckily, there were just enough seats for all of the patrons. Akamaru had to nestle in Kiba's coat.

Kakashi took out the bills of money that Gennosuke gave him for the ramen. He looked at Naruto. He looked at the bills. He turned his head back towards Naruto, who had downed one bowl of ramen already. He looked back at the bills. He looked up, and he saw 4 bowls of ramen neatly stacked beside Naruto, who was devouring his fifth. He looked down dejectedly at the bills. Kakashi did some quick math and figured that, at this rate, judging by Naruto's current eating velocity, his past eating records, and the eating needs of the rest of the group, he calculated that in addition to the bills that he had from Gennosuke, he would need... a whole lot of money. Kakashi was never very good at math. Luckily, putting one's life on the line for the good of one's country has its perks; one of them being a hefty paycheck and income tax exemption. It was good to be a Jounin. Kakashi decided not to worry and he ate his one bowl of ramen with speed comparable to Naruto's; he didn't want anyone to see behind the mask.

_Wait a minute. Why do I wear this mask again? Oh yeah. I wear it to drive my students and colleagues insane through curiosity. Or was it some disfiguring injury? Hmph... I haven't seen my own face in such a long time, I forget why I wear this thing. The reason must be important, though..._

Kakashi looked back at Naruto and sweatdropped as he saw the impressive stack of ramen bowls. Naruto was finally finished, however, and the rest of the group could eat in peace. Kakashi could now predict the total cost of the meal and started shelling out yen, much to the shopkeeper's delight.

"Hinata."

Hinata was slightly surprised when she heard Naruto address her.

"Y-yes, Naruto-kun?"

"I forgot to thank you for saving me like you did. So, um, thanks."

Naruto grinned from ear to ear which made Hinata blush like a beet. Gai caught Hinata's strange behavior and pulled out a bottle of suntan lotion from nowhere.

"HERE! TAKE THIS AND USE IT FOR YOUR SUNBURN! WE MUSTN'T LET YOUR DELICATE YOUTHFUL SKIN AGE PREMATURELY!"

"Gai, we're at the floor of a huge lake. The sun doesn't reach here."

"KAKASHI! YOUR COOLNESS ANGERS ME!"

"Yeah. I know."

"Gai sensei! Don't let your rival beat you!"

"Lee! Don't encourage him!"

"You're siding with Kakashi, Neji!"

"No, I'm not; you two are making a scene!"

"Making a scene, eh, Neji? What about when you..."

"DAMN IT LEE!"

Neji grabbed Lee by the throat and gave him a kick to the chest. Lee went flying into a nearby transplanted palm tree. Ten-Ten giggled.

"Talk about making a scene." Ten-Ten giggled a bit more. Something struck her as funny, which was strange, as she had been jaded to these antics. Something just felt... different about Neji. Maybe it was the way he violently lost his cool. She liked to see him falter. It made him look human.

Neji calmly turned away from the injured Lee and found Ten-Ten staring at him. He lost his composure again, only this time, the results were not violent.

"Uh... T-Ten-Ten? Why are you staring at me?"

Naruto smirked.

_He sounds like Hinata! Nervousness runs in the family, I guess._

Ten-Ten blushed a bit and looked away quickly. How could she have been caught like that? Honestly, she was smarter than to stare... Wasn't she? As she turned around, she was greeted by a bottle of suntan lotion.

"Hell no. We're not starting that all over again."

Gai looked dejected and trudged off to recover his injured student.

Naruto was laughing in fits, now, and Hinata blushed as she looked at him through the corner of her eye.

_He's so cute when He's laughing..._

Kiba just sighed and wished for some open space. This place was making him stir-crazy.

---

This is a short one. Why? Because I had to cut it short. You see, I am going to Israel in a few hours, so I can't end the chapter. O well. I just thought I might get this one out to tide you over. No updates for a while. Sorry!


	7. The REAL Most Dangerous Game

1SORRY FOR THE DELAY! I'm back from Israel and I'm ready to roll! So now, our special guest for the disclaimer is...

UMINO IRUKA!

"Um... Hi..."

Hello, Iruka! Who's everyone's favorite sensei?

"I'm not supposed to be here... How did I get here?"

You were transported via plot device.

"That really isn't supposed to be possible..."

Shut up and read the disclaimer.

"But..."

READ OR DIE!

"All right. MasterFroda does not own Naruto in any way, shape or form, nor does he own Read or Die..."

Whoops.

"Can I go now?"

No. You must now put on this speedo and join Itachi and Sasori.

Camera pans to Itachi and Sasori in speedos, bound and gagged and tied to each other.

Yes, we need sweet little Iruka in order to make this scene complete... Iruka? Where did Iruka go?

**The Most Dangerous Game**

_The _Real_ Most Dangerous Game_

Asuma was making conversation with the ambassador from the Mist.

"So how did you come up with so much money, anyway?"

"It is a rather funny story that begins during the Great Ninja Wars. On a scouting mission, one of our ninja was trying to secure a water source and began to dig for a spring. He did not find a spring, however, as his shovel hit an iron ore deposit. Upon further investigation, we found out that there is a huge concentration of iron in this country. Iron, of course, is the lead ingredient in steel, which is used to make weapons. Since shinobi rely greatly on throwing weapons, such as kunai and shuriken, their supplies are quickly depleted, and steel becomes a very valuable asset. We sold our steel to other countries for high prices, as the demand was enormous. At one point, steel was even more valuable than gold. By the end of the war, we had stockpiled enough money to make a feudal lord look like a peasant. We were going to use the money to research new weapons, but since we were in a time of peace, we decided that it would be best to start on a peace-time project. This underwater village was the project, and here we are."

"Very interesting, but I have one question. What happens when the ore deposit is exhausted?"

"A good question. The ore is what made us rich, but it is not our sole export. Our economy is stable enough that we can continue thriving even without the ore. Plus, the weapons we make are far more valuable than the metal itself. Kirigakure village is, after all, home to the most skilled sword smiths in the world. Our economy is in no danger of collapsing."

"So why were the Shinobi-gatana after the throne?"

"They wanted war. They didn't care about the welfare of the people, and their bloodlust could not be satisfied by border skirmishes. They wanted to relive their glory days as the ultimate soldiers of the mist, and starting a war would be the perfect way to do so. But now, only one of them is at large, and I have to thank Konoha a great deal for dealing with the other four."

Gennosuke paused and sighed.

"It's a shame about Tajoumaru, though."

Asuma stayed silent and sipped his saké.

---

Lunch was over and the groups reconvened. The jounin decided that they should rest for the day, and that they should all go where they pleased. Naruto and Sakura were quite interested by the idea of the undersea arboreum, so that was where they headed. Shino, Kiba, and Hinata followed, much to Naruto's dismay, as he was hoping to treat this as a date. Three of them made pleasant conversation while Shino, being Shino, was silent, and Hinata, being Hinata, was too shy to join in. Shino knew this was his chance to speak with Hinata, so he beconed her over and the two fell back behind the others.

"Hinata."

"Sh-Shino-kun?"

"I apologize in advance for what I am going to do to Naruto. I need you to be brave, or this whole plan will collapse. Understood?"

Hinata was now practically shaking in her sandals. What was Shino going to do to Naruto? Why was the burden of bravery placed on her, all of a sudden? Before she could speak, her mouth was rendered useless, as all it could do was gape in awe. The group had reached the arboreum, which was a huge transparent dome filled with a magnificent landscape. Trees were abundant and grass grew everywhere on the ground, except where there was a small stream cutting the place in half. How any of this was achieved was anyone's guess. Naruto was the first to break the awed silence.

"A-amazing..."

"What a fantastic terrarium," observed Sakura.

"Yahoo! Finally some room and some sun! Let's go, Akamaru!"

"Arf!"

Kiba and Akamaru bounded in and disappeared into the nearest tree. The others walked in more slowly, gazing at the feat of landscaping.

"I've never seen anything like this before in my life, and yet, I have..." said Sakura, "This landscape looks exactly like something you'd find in Konoha, but there are fish swimming in the 'sky.'"

"The fish are not unlike birds," mused Shino.

Iruka walked in.

"Shino, you never muse. What happened?"

The ninja stared at Iruka quizzically.

"Iruka-sensei, how did you get down here?"

"I escaped."

"Escaped from what?"

"I escaped from a plot device. Gotta run! See you all later!"

Iruka ran off. I am going to cut the scene so I can dispense with him and carry on with the story uninterrupted. Insert three dashes here.

---

Orochimaru sat with a great sense of satisfaction. His personal mission was going _almost_ according to plan. True, his new vessel had escaped him, but he had recently acquired a new batch of powerful underlings. He looked at his latest acquisition. Odoruwa was still writhing in pain from his curse seal, but the pain would pass soon. Odoruwa would belong to Orochimaru sooner or later.

A very strange and imposing figure walked out from behind the trees.

"Ah, Kumomaru-kun. I am very glad you came."

"I'm too old for that honorific, Orochimaru-sama. You shouldn't call me a little boy just because you want me to be one."

"Would you prefer I called you Kumomaru-ojii-san?"

Kumomaru stepped out from the shadows. Two arms folded across his chest while two other arms were rested on his hips. A third set was busy stroking his long, white beard.

"That would be more appropriate, Orochimaru-sama. Although, I would be much obliged If you would drop the honorific altogether."

"Now, now. I have to treat the late Kidomaru's grandfather with _some_ respect."

"Then respect me by dropping the honorific."

"Kukukukukuku."

"Why did I ever sacrifice my clan to you? I used to see a strong leader. Now, all that lies before my eyes is a pedophilic bufoon..."

Kumomaru could not say anything more, as he was being strangled by a large snake. Orochimaru's whimsical expression instantly transformed into a wrathful scowl.

"Know your place, Kumomaru-_kun_."

Orochimaru released the snake.

"H...Hai, Orochimaru-sama."

"Now, then," Orochimaru's face relaxed. "Where are the others?"

"They are here."

Four figures emerged from the shadows.

"Excellent."

---

Sakura sidled up to Shino. With a mutual nod, they held hands. Upon contact, they both shuddered with both nervousness and anticipation.

_What the hell am I doing? Holding hands with Sakura? I'm crazy! Then again, I've never held hands with a girl before... WHERE DID THAT STRAY THOUGHT COME FROM?_

"Hehe... sorry 'bout that, chief," Oda confessed.

_You can influence my thoughts as well?_

"Uh... sorta..."

_ANSWER ME!_

"Well, the thoughts are yours, but..."

_But what?_

"We can uncover your suppressed thoughts. I sorta like doing it to mess with your head."

Shino thought back to the time when he once actually cuddled Akamaru.

_SO THAT WAS YOU!_

"But he looked so fluffy and cute..."

_Be quiet._

"Ok."

Shino ended his conversation with his bug and turned his head to see Sakura staring at him.

"What is it?"

"What was that all about? One of your eyebrows was going crazy!"

"Nothing. Do we have Naruto's attention yet?"

"No, he's still trying to figure out why Iruka was here."

Naruto, as if on cue, decided to stop pondering over his sensei and run over to Sakura to ask her opinion on the matter. When he finally caught up to Sakura and Shino, he noticed something amiss. First of all, Shino wasn't looking aloof as usual. He was looking quite vivacious, actually. The second thing that was wrong was a bit less subtle.

"NANI? YOU'RE HOLDING HANDS WITH SHINO?"

Sakura turned around and looked at Naruto.

"So?"

"SO? SO YOU'RE DOING SOMETHING COMPLETELY AGAINST YOUR NATURE!"

"Is it against my nature to hold my boyfriend's hand?"

"B-b-buh-buh... BOYFRIEND?"

Naruto couldn't believe what he was hearing. Sure, he had been rejected countless times, but this situation seemed different. Sakura actually had a legitimate reason for shooting him down.

_This... this is horrible... this isn't a natural situation... This can't be happening..._

Sakura and Shino stared at the gaping Naruto, and Shino knew that the time was right to verbally assault his prey.

"Yes. I'm her boyfriend. Why don't you just leave **us**alone for a bit?"

It wasn't the most caustic remark, but he knew that it got the job done, for the expression on Naruto's face turned from shock to anger. Instead of attacking, however, Naruto fled.

_Don't let them see you cry. Don't let them see your tears, or you'll be weak._

Shino turned sharply to Hinata, who had been watching this exchange in abject terror.

"Go."

Hinata bolted at the word and gave chase to the fleeing blond.

Once alone, Sakura and Shino both collapsed on the ground.

"That felt so... terrible..."

"It had to be done."

"Are you sure? Did we have to hit him so hard?"

"In order to be grateful to what you receive, you must first know what it is like to suffer."

"Waxing philosophical? I didn't know you had such a long sentence in you, Shino."

"Was that just a joke directed at me?"

"Yes..."

"No one has ever joked to me before."

"Not even Kiba?"

"Let me rephrase that. No one with _wit_ has ever joked to me before."

"Ah. Was that a joke?"

"Could have been."

"Dry, but funny. Very good, Shino."

"Yeah..."

They both sighed.

"As long as Hinata follows my instructions, Naruto should be fine."

"I hope you're right..." Sakura paused. "Hey Shino?"

"Hn?"

"What... what do your eyes look like?"

_Crap. I wish she hadn't asked that._

"Why do you ask?"

"Just curious. I saw you without your sunglasses, but your eyes were closed. It just piqued my curiosity, you know?"

"My eyes are for no one to see."

"What, are they just empty eye sockets, or something? Or are they filled with bugs?"

"Neither."

"Then why won't you show me?"

"Let's just say that I have to be extremely comfortable with a person in order to show them my eyes. Aburame eyes are for the eyes of the Aburame only... no pun intended."

"So they're a clan secret?"

"Yes. Let's just say that one pair of eyes could buy this entire village twice over."

"So... they're valuable?"

"If the secret were let out, we'd be hunted for them."

"Hunted?"

"Just like a rabbit for its fur."

"But why? Do the Aburame have a dojutsu like the Hyuuga and Uchiha?"

"Not in the way you're thinking. I _can_ tell you that our ears are more useful than our eyes, and that's why we wear these dark glasses. Now can we _please_ change the subject?"

Sakura didn't want to change the subject. She hadn't heard Shino speak this much in her life, and she didn't want him to stop now. His voice was quite enthralling, now that she heard it. She was surprised to hear him resume the conversation without a prompt.

"What attracted you to Sasuke?"

"What kind of a question is that?"

"I'm asking the question."

"Well, now I'm not exactly sure. A month ago I could have given you a list in the thousands of reasons why I liked him, but after he betrayed us and nearly killed Naruto, I'm not so sure.

From a nearby tree, a pair of eyes narrowed.

_What?_

---

Night, or whatever represented night, fell on the underwater village. The ninja were each escorted to separate rooms in one long hallway. Sakura couldn't sleep. Her curiosity about Shino and her revelations about herself were keeping her awake. She lay in bed with her eyes wide open, and then she heard a noise.

"Who's there?"

No answer.

"Show yourself!"

Still, there was no response. Sakura closed her eyes and concentrated on the noises in the room. She heard the noise again and whipped a kunai in that direction. (She always had a few nearby her bed like a good ninja always should.) She heard a thump and a grunt and she rushed over to where the noise came from. She grabbed whatever figure was slumped on the wall and cocked her fist. Then, she heard a familiar voice.

"Sakura! It's me!"

"No... No, it can't be..."

"Turn on the light, Sakura, and come to your senses!"

Sakura obeyed and her suspicions were confirmed. Sasuke stood in front of her as smug as ever. She let her fist connect with his face. He crashed against the opposite wall.

"What was that for?"

"For punching me on your way out. And this..."

She grabbed him and kneed him in the gut.

"This is for betraying the village..."

She then gave him a tornado kick to the jaw that could have been lethal had she not held back.

"And that one was for nearly killing Naruto!"

"Can...cough can we be civil now? I came here for help..."

"Help? That's awfully pigheaded of you. You..."

"Don't lecture me, Sakura, I don't need it. I need to get away from Orochimaru."

"Why? Doesn't he have the power you were craving?"

"Yes, but..."

"BUT NOTHING! Go to Naruto if you want sympathy!"

Tears welled up in her eyes.

"Sasuke, you did things that are irreparable. I can't forgive you for what you did to me that night you left... That cold, cold response when I laid my heart in front of you... It hurt... so much..."

"Sakura, I'm sorry..."

"It's a little late to apologize now! Wait... YOU APOLOGIZED?"

Sasuke coughed. Sakura smirked to see him in such a delicate position.

"Heh. How the mighty have fallen."

"I swear, Sakura, were I not in this position, I would kill you for those words."

"I don't think you could do it. You're not the only one who has become stronger, you know. And how did I beat the crap out of you just now?"

"I let you."

"You did, did you?"

"Just shut up and listen. Orochimaru has done... things to me. He has done things too horrible to imagine. Sure, some people might like that sort of thing, but I'm not one of those people. He _violated_ me, Sakura, and now I can appreciate all that you have done for me. Sakura, you have to let me back into Konoha. I can't go back to that man. I would rather die."

"That's good, because the penalty for treason is death. Maybe the Hokage will show mercy toward Konoha's genius, but you will have to be prepared for repercussions. I'll help you, Sasuke, but know that you are too late if you want my romantic attention back."

"Sakura..."

"Now go room with Naruto, or something. You're not sleeping in _my_ room, that's for sure."

"I can manage without rooming with anyone. Goodnight, Sakura."

"Good night."

---

Hinata's pearly eyes were wide open. She couldn't sleep, because she was too busy thinking about Naruto. Earlier that day, she had chased after him and he had escaped. Apparently, he did _not _want any consolation then. Now, she was lying awake with tears in her eyes. She felt for him. She also couldn't sleep because something was pounding against her wall in the next room. Eventually, she got up and walked over to the adjacent room. She knocked quietly.

"Um... could you...c-could you p-please stop...umm..."

"Go away."

It was Naruto's voice.

"Naruto-kun! What are you doing in there?"

"I said go away. I don't want to talk to anyone right now. Don't take it personally."

"Naruto-kun, please! What's wrong?"

The door swung open and Naruto stared at her with sad and bloodshot eyes that just made her heart crack in two. She couldn't bear to see Naruto like this.

"I... I guess you can come in... maybe I do need someone to talk to."

Hinata walked into Naruto's room and saw what was causing the banging. There was a large dent in the wall shared by the two rooms. Upon closer inspection, she realized that Naruto had been banging his head against the wall for the past few hours. There was a stain on the floor that she could guess was comprised of both tears and blood. A trickle of blood was running down Naruto's forehead which confirmed her suspicions.

"It's about S-Sakura, right?"

"Ever since the first day I knew her, she has always been after Sasuke. Every time I asked her out, she has always refused. Every time she asked Sasuke out, he always refused. I got some consolation that she was being turned down just as much as I was. I actually wouldn't have minded much had she actually gotten together with Sasuke. It would have felt no different from the usual dull pain of rejection."

Hinata bit her lip to restrain the tears. She didn't like to see her Naruto in pain.

"But Shino... She barely knows the guy and she starts going out with him. It doesn't seem right. He's so cold and emotionless. Sakura won't be happy with him. It's just so... wrong!"

Naruto slammed his fist down on the bed and looked up.

"Hinata... Are you crying?"

Hinata couldn't hold back her tears and there was a steady stream of them running down her face.

"Why are you crying, Hinata? This doesn't concern you."

"Naruto-kun, I..."

"You... what?"

"I... I..."

She was in so much shock that she was too nervous to form a sentence.

"You're not sad for me, are you?"

Hinata could only nod.

"Hinata, why?"

"Because... b-because..."

Instead of answering, she ran out the door and dashed back into her room.

_I have failed. Just when I needed to talk most, I choked. Father was right about me. I can't do anything..._

She heard a knock at the door. She opened it.

"Hinata, can we be friends?"

With tears in her eyes, she cried, "Naruto no baka!" and they embraced in a hug.

---

Orochimaru paced back and forth among his ranks. He was proud of his new elite group. The previous Sound Five were mostly Genin-level ninja pumped up by his curse seal. He wondered, then, how powerful Jounin would be when they received the curse. His first acquisition was Kumomaru, who sold his entire clan to Orochimaru for promises of power. Orochimaru gave the seal to him and his grandson and heir. With the death of the prodigal heir, Kidomaru, Orochimaru decided to rely on the strength of the clan elder instead. Kumomaru proved to have ten times the skill of his grandson.

Orochimaru saw the effectiveness of teamwork in battle, and that was why he took Hiryuu and Hyoryuu into his fold. The two women were twins and each possessed an aptitude for a different type of elemental jutsu. Hiryuu was a master of fire and Hyoryuu was skilled with ice jutsu. Together they could form an assault that was impossible to counter. Orochimaru knew how strong they could get with their seals activated and was very pleased at their success rate. Their only problem was that they constantly bickered, but they worked well enough together that Orochimaru could overlook their flaw.

The fourth member of Orochimaru's team hailed all the way from the village of Stone. He called himself Hanzo when he was found in the wilderness, and Orochimaru took him in as a grunt. He realized, however, that Hanzo was far more than a grunt. He possessed a startling efficiency when he was armed with explosives. He knew the weak points of structures by instinct and was an expert at lobbing bombs and placing exploding tags. It was discovered that he was a member of the infamous Bakuhatsu clan who was fabled for their ability to create and use bombs. As Hanzo got stronger, he became able to regurgitate ready to use bombs using his chakra. He became a valuable, albeit disgusting, asset to Orochimaru's specialist team.

Rounding out the team was Zatoichi, who named himself after the famous blind swordsman. Zatoichi the ninja was a blind warrior himself, hence his namesake. His powers are not notable and he does not let anyone know how skilled he is. Orochimaru chose him for his normalcy, so he can be a subtle infiltrator into the hearts of enemy cities. He is recognizable by his dark glasses, wide farmer's hat, and long, gray beard. He is the only one who knows his own real name, but it is known that he was originally a Konoha ninja before he left his clan. His reasons for leaving are unknown, as are his motives for joining with Orochimaru. Even Orochimaru is slightly puzzled by him, but he doesn't care. He has a skilled and subtle warrior.

Yes, Orochimaru had the perfect team, and it would be made even more perfect with his latest acquisition. He smiled to himself as he watched Odoruwa writhe in pain.

"Sasuke-kun... I'm coming for you..."

---

The next morning, Sasuke was revealed to the rest of the group, some of whom recieved him with open arms; others of whom with a cold shoulder. Naruto was the first (and only) one to forgive Sasuke for his betrayal. His brotherly love for his teammate combined with his ever-present naivete gave him no pause in Sasuke's exoneration. Sakura still held her grudge while Neji, Kiba, Shikamaru, Lee, and Chouji were a bit miffed that they went through a near death experience only to fail their mission and to have their target pop up right under their noses. The rest of the ninja had no notable opinion except Kakashi, who grabbed Sasuke by the collar, dragged him off, and gave an order that no one was to follow him.

Once alone, Kakashi bound Sasuke to a chair and knelt down facing him.

"Talk."

"What?"

"I said talk. I'm listening."

"What do you mean talk?"

"This is an interrogation. You are to tell me anything and everything about Orochimaru; his assets, his goals, the location of his base. Everything. Also, you have to prove to me that you're not a spy. Fail to do so and things will get painful. Morino Ibiki may have the lion's share of torture techniques, but I am not without a repertoire."

"Kakashi, this is unnecessary..."

"You abandon your village and become a missing-nin and now you expect us to give you a full pardon? Naruto loves you and is eager to forgive, but he is still a child and has much to learn. For now, you are still a Sound ninja and must be treated like an enemy. You are guilty until proven innocent."

"Fine. I'll tell you exactly why I left. Orochimaru was going to do disgusting things to my body. He wanted me to do him sexual favors. That's it, plain and simple. The girls in Konoha were tame compared to his advances. Kakashi, when I was with that man, I have seen things too terrible to imagine. I trust that you do not want me to get into the gory details. As for aims, he has none. He just wants to know every jutsu ever invented, as always. As for assets, I have profiles on my 'subordinates.' If you untie me, I can give them to you."

Kakashi unbound Sasuke's hands.

"Here they are."

Sasuke gave Kakashi a set of five cards with information on Orochimaru's elite squad. Kakashi looked at the cards and let his gaze fix back on Sasuke.

"Welcome back."

---

Well, that's it for another chapter, and I have captured the disturbance. Say hello, Iruka.

"Mmmff! Mmm!"

Yes, I've had him bound and gagged. Let's just say that he and my two Akatsuki bishies are going to become the best of friends.

"MMMM!"

Also, to Jedi Mistress 1990, yes, you can use my ideas, so long as you don't abuse them. Copying is a sign of flattery, and I am most flattered.

PLEASE REVIEW!


	8. Plan B

First of all, I'm terribly sorry that I'm so late with this update. School has just started and the updates may become fewer and farther between. However, I shall keep at it as hard as I can.

Now...

OMG! HAVE YOU SEEN NARUTO EPISODE 148? NARU-HINA GOODNESS AND SHINO TOO! MY GOD! IT'S TOO AWESOME! Hehehe... Naruto indirectly called Hinata beautiful! YAY! Anyway, even though there's a NaruHina story going on in the anime, I am still going strong with my original story! Now, back from the grave to help with our disclaimer, is the one, the only Kimimaro!

"..."

And Gaara's here too!

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

They seem to be arguing.

"...!"

"...!"

"I don't have time for this. Sabbaku Taiso!"

Ok, well, that's it for Kimimaro. It looks like you have the honor of doing the disclaimer again, Gaara.

"Fine. MasterFroda doesn't own Naruto. Happy?"

Very.

"RUN, GAARA! RUN WHILE YOU STILL CAN!"

Quiet, Iruka! Put the gag back in your mouth.

"Sorry..."

On with the show!

**The Most Dangerous Game**

_Plan B_

---

"All right, Hinata, tell my everything, down to the last gory detail. Did you catch up with Naruto?"

"S-Sakura, please don't be so... blunt..."

"Well, did you?"

"No... but...but we did talk last night and..."

"And what?"

"He asked me to be his friend."

"Chikusho! Wait a minute... did he ask you _just_ to be his friend, or to be his friend?"

"To be his friend... there wasn't any 'just' in his sentence, if I remember correctly..."

"Well, then, there's still hope. If he had asked to 'just be friends,' it would have meant that he turned you down, but I think he's still just clueless."

"Well, um... What do you think, Shino?"

"Perhaps..."

"P-perhaps?"

"Perhaps he needs outside social influence."

"What? Speak in an understandable language, Shino."

"We should get as many couples together within our group, and that may give Naruto the idea to pursue Hinata."

"Brilliant! I always wanted to play cupid!"

"Yes, Sakura, between yourself and Sasuke."

"...Was that another joke?"

"I...I suppose it was..."

"Wow. Even as your fake girlfriend I'm having an effect on you. Maybe we shouldn't keep this as a façade..."

"..."

"...Eheh... Umm..."

"That was a joke too, wasn't it, Sakura?"

"...Yes... I mean, n... I, um, yes, it was; I wasn't trying to insult you or anything..."

Shino looked at Sakura with his usual blank expression.

"Yes. Who are we going to work on first, and how?"

"Hmm... I've always wanted to screw with Ino... let's get her hooked up with somebody..."

Hinata was very politely watching the two converse and felt a bit left out of the loop. She decided not to get involved with their schemes and to go find someone else to talk to.

"Ino..."

"Yeah, Ino. Who are our options?"

"Shikamaru, Chouji, Kiba, Neji, and Lee."

"Hmm... I like the idea of Shikamaru..."

"He would be a logical choice. What about Chouji?"

"I don't know... I have trouble seeing them together, you know? But then again, it would be like two pigs in love, wouldn't it?"

"..."

"Right. So it's Shikamaru?"

"Yes."

"He'll be so whipped."

"Yes."

"Ino needs someone to boss around, anyway."

"Yes."

"Well, let's get this show on the road, then."

"...Yes."

---

Meanwhile, Shikamaru had finally found his new substitute for clouds.

"The fish are nice..."

"What are you looking at, Shikamaru?"

"What's it look like I'm looking at?"

"The... fish?"

"You are a brilliant person, Ino."

"Thank you."

Shikamaru sighed. As usual, Ino didn't pick up on his sarcasm. He turned to his lifelong friend.

"So, Chouji, you never told us how the alligator was."

"It tasted like chicken."

"Figures. Everything seems to."

"Chips?"

"No, thanks."

Ino couldn't believe her two teammates. They seemed to be enjoying themselves just watching the fish! What fun was that? Ino decided that enough was enough.

"Don't you guys want to, you know, do something?"

"This is doing something."

Infuriated with the nonchalant response, Ino stormed out and left the two to whatever boring activity they were doing. Maybe she could go hit on Sasuke now that he was back. Then again, Shikamaru and Chouji both told her what an awful person Sasuke turned out to be.

"Ah, well... It gives me something to do, anyway. This place is so boring!"

"Don't you think you should be trying to find someone else?"

"Just because you gave up on him doesn't mean I have to, forehead girl. Besides, I have no competition now."

"We can be rivals about something else, if that's what you want, Ino-pig, but I'm just warning you that Sasuke isn't worth either of us, let alone us tearing up our friendship over him."

"Hey, that may be your sentiment, but it isn't mine. Sasuke probably left the village just to get away from you."

"Believe what you want to believe."

"Besides, who else is there? I mean, who's hotter than Sasuke?"

"Well, perhaps it's time you stopped focusing on looks and started focusing on personality or _brains_."

"What are you implying?"

"I dunno, I just don't think that hooking up with Sasuke is a _smart move_."

"Why are you putting emphasis on certain words?"

"Ah, I guess I'm just too _lazy_ to explain."

"Wierdo."

"Whatever, I found someone better than Sasuke, and if you don't hurry up, I might just take him. How troublesome would that be, I wonder?"

"You... You aren't seriously..."

"Bye, Ino..."

"NO WAY! I'M GETTING TO HIM FIRST!"

Ino pushed Sakura out of the way as she rushed back toward where she came from and where Shikamaru was sitting, blissfully ignorant of the danger approaching him. Sakura smirked.

"She's so flighty sometimes."

Shino stepped out of the shadows from where he was watching.

"That was brilliant."

"When you know Ino like I do, you know how to push her buttons."

"Do you have any worries about Shikamaru's reaction to Ino's eminent overtures?"

"He's so lazy that he couldn't possibly resist."

"Let's go see what happens."

"Roger!"

---

"Naruto... I, uh..."

"Yeah, Sasuke?"

"Nevermind..."

"Ah, ok. Hey, did you know that Sakura-chan's stopped fawning over you?"

"Yeah."

"You seem almost... bummed..."

"No."

"Ok, just thinking, cuz, I think that we should try to break Sakura and Shino up, you know, so maybe she'll start after you again."

"What's in it for you?"

"It's been... It's been one of the few constants in my life, you know? Just seeing her with him makes life feel so wrong..."

"You would do this?"

"I thought you didn't care."

"I'm nostalgic. I want things to go back to normal. I want to forget what happened with Orochimaru. It's true that I'm an avenger, and that my life goal is to kill my brother and revive my clan, but sometimes power comes at too high a cost. Besides..."

"Besides?"

Sasuke actually blushed while he said this: "How do I revive the clan without... a..."

"Oh, I get it... So you actually _do_ like Sakura..."

Naruto grinned his foxy grin.

"Don't worry, Sasuke! I promised I'd bring you back to Sakura, and look where you are now!"

"I came back of my own free wi..."

"And now I promise to bring Sakura back to you!"

"Despite your idiocy, Naruto, I can't thank you enough."

"No problem! Wait... what was that about idiocy?"

"Let's go."

"RIGHT!"

---

"Oh, Shikamaru..."

Ino flirtatiously approached Shikamaru.

"The hell? What are you doing, Ino?"

"Shikamaru-kun, how do I look?"

"You look like you always do..."

"And how do I always look?"

"Annoyingly beautiful."

Ino was caught slightly off guard by this candid comment, but then again, he did think she was beautiful. That was something. She'd win his heart for sure before Sakura did.

_In fact, he looks kinda hot... Not Sasuke hot, but hot in a weird sort of way..._

"You think I'm beautiful, eh? You really think so?"

"Agh! Troublesome woman!"

"I'll show you how _troublesome_ we women can be..."

She sidled up to Shikamaru. All concept of personal space was lost to the winds of passion. That is, at least for her. Shikamaru was still very uncomfortable.

"Look, Ino, I'm not sure what's gotten into you, but..."

"Let's just say that I saw the light, and his name is..."

Ino inched closer on every subsequent syllable.

"Shi-ka-ma-ru..."

By this time, they were face to face. Despite Shikamaru's most valiant efforts, he was powerless to resist the small voice inside him telling him to stay seated. He muttered to himself about how unnecessarily complicated life was before his lips met hers.

_Bingo!_ Thought Sakura.

As their faces parted, Ino gave out a triumphant giggle while Shikamaru sighed.

"I couldn't have guessed that you actually felt that way about me..."

"Well, I do. Let's go out!"

"Wait a second! Don't I get a say in this?"

"What do you mean?"

"Look, uh, I don't think I'm ready for this sort of thing."

"Why not?"

"Let me put it this way. Once upon a time, there was a handsome prince."

"Ok..."

"And this handsome prince fell in love with a beautiful princess, and so he asked her to marry him."

"Yeah, but I don't see the relevance..."

"I'm not done! So this prince asks the princess to marry him, and she refuses. The prince walks away and they both lived happily ever after."

"Wait a minute... That doesn't make sense..."

"Girls are too troublesome for me. Find some other guy. It isn't like I don't like you or anything, it's just..."

"That you're too lazy. Ok, Shikamaru, I get the picture."

Ino stalked off.

_I guess I couldn't tell her about the "other woman"..._

---

Ino wasn't as heartbroken as she was pissed. Sakura had tricked her and now she had gone and kissed some useless guy. The first person she came across would face her wrath. That person had to be Kiba.

"Ino? What's the matter? This place getting to you, too?"

Ino didn't bother to answer. She just needed to let off some murderous steam. It felt good to connect her fist with Kiba's gut.

Kiba wasn't in the mood to have the crap beaten out of him, so he decided that he wasn't going to let any more hits land.

"Ino, what the hell are you doing?"

"Like you'd care, you bastard!"

"Whoa! I care, alright! I care about my stomach being punched in!"

Ino screamed and rushed Kiba with her fist cocked. Kiba sidestepped the following punch and grabbed her arm.

_It's a good thing that she isn't good at Taijutsu. Otherwise, I'd be hurting right now. Oh, shit, what's she doing now?_

Kiba barely escaped the kunai that was in Ino's other hand.

"Ino, stop!"

"Why should I?"

"Because I had nothing to do with why you're angry!"

"Of course you have something to do with it! You're a boy! Boys are all useless!"

"You've seriously been hanging around your team too much..."

Kiba decided to take control of the fight. He twisted Ino's arm around her and put her in a headlock.

"Now... You can tell me what's wrong and I can let you go. Or..." He caught Ino's hand that was holding the kunai. "We can continue this useless fight."

"Fine... Sakura tricked me into hitting on Shikamaru. Then he let me kiss him and then rejected me afterward!"

"Well, now, how can we fix this?"

"Kill every boy in sight?"

"No... Try again..."

"How about get revenge on Sakura?"

"Now you're talking."

"But... how?"

"Listen to this: I've seen Sakura hanging out with Shino for much longer than usual."

"So you think..."

"Yes. They're probably in cahoots. Hell, they might even be dating!"

"So we're going to get both of them?"

"Yeah... It will be so satisfying to blackmail that smug bastard."

A familiar voice entered the conversation.

"What smug basard?"

"Not you, Sasuke, even though you fit the bill."

Kiba turned to face Sasuke and Naruto.

"I take it you have complaints against Sakura and Shino."

"What of them?"

"So do we."

Naruto nodded.

"So what exactly is your plan?" Kiba asked.

"We're going to ask the king of pranks about that one..."

Naruto smirked.

"All right! Here's what we're going to do..."

---

"Do you suddenly get the feeling that everyone hates us?"

"Yes."

"Maybe we should own up..."

"We'll have to isolate people to do it..."

Shikamaru approached Shino and Sakura.

"I take it you're behind this."

Sakura sighed. "Yeah... It's true. It got out of control, though."

"Well, I'm glad that you thought about the consequences of messing with our feelings _after_ trying a stunt like that."

Shino stepped forward. "It was a plan. It failed."

"What plan is this, now?"

"We're setting you all up."

"What? Come on... YOU setting people up? What's your real motive?"

"Sandaime told me once that people fight for those important to them. If a shinobi has someone important to them, they will always have a motive to keep fighting, and Konoha will become strong through its internal bonds. I am simply acting on that point."

"An admirable goal, Shino. In fact, I'm so moved, I think I'll join you guys."

Sakura raised an eyebrow. "That's... proactive of you."

"Mostly it's to get Ino off my back. She's going to kill me next time she sees me if she doesn't find someone else."

"Aha..."

---

Neji, Ten-Ten, and Lee were in the special stadium. Gennosuke had led them to Kirigakure's best training facilities, and the team decided to put those facilities to use. At this point, they were in a three-way free-for-all, and Neji was warily scouting for his enemies. He noticed a rustle of leaves and was about to strike it when he heard a soft voice cry out.

"Neji-nii-san!"

"Hinata-sama! What are you doing here?"

"If you aren't busy, which I see you are, but when you get the chance, um... could you... train me?"

"Yes, Hinata-sama, I would be happy to, but right now, I'm being stalked by two very deadly opponents..."

"You mean Lee-san and Ten-Ten-san?"

"Yes... how did you know?"

"Well, f-for one thing, they're your teammates... and, well, for another... um..."

"Yes?"

"They're 28 meters behind me, 30 degrees to the left, and it seems that they've teamed up against you."

"Hinata-sama, remind me that your byakugan doesn't need practice. Now, since you're here, and since my teammates have teamed up against me, your first part of training will be to help me beat them."

"B-but Neji-nii-san, can't you beat them on your own?"

"I've learned never to underestimate an opponent. That's what Naruto taught me."

He smiled at Hinata.

"He has cured me of my blindness, and so, by training you, I will cure him of his. Mark my words, he will recognize you. Now, deactivate your byakugan, and I'm going to give you instructions based on the enemy's whereabouts. You're going to attack where I specify. For example, Lee is now 20 meters to your left."

Hinata threw a kunai in that direction. From Neji's point of view, it was obviously going to miss.

"Hinata-sama, what were you doing?"

"Lee-san is most likely moving, so I threw it where I thought his path would be... I'm sorry if I disappointed you..."

Neji's eyes widened as he saw Lee caught off guard by the kunai. He barely dodged it.

"You... what do you need training for, anyway?"

"I'm weak..."

"No you aren't; that kunai almost hit him!"

"Yes, but now he knows our location and there's an exploding tag behind that tree in your blind spot!"

Neji leapt out of the tree, taking Hinata with him while shielding her from the blast.

"I'm just getting in your way..."

"No, you're helping. Quick! Palm to your right!"

Without a second thought, Hinata let loose a powerful palm strike with her right hand, catching Lee in the chest. He was hurled backwards into a tree. Luckily for him, Hinata was not using Jyuuken.

"Very good, Hinata-sama. You have just defeated Lee."

"What?"

"Look."

Hinata stared in amazement at what she had done. Lee was slumped against a nearby tree, conscious and without severe damage, but still in pain. He had rushed headlong into Hinata's blow.

"Oh, Lee-san! Forgive me!"

Hinata rushed toward Lee to tend to him but he could manage getting up on his own. Ten-Ten jumped down from another tree.

"You cheated, Neji! You weren't supposed to have Hinata on your team!"

"Last I checked, there weren't supposed to be teams. You and Lee were conspiring against me. It's only fair."

"Yeah, but two Hyuuga against us?"

"Um... I don't think I count much..."

Lee looked at Hinata.

"Of course you do! That strike was almost as painful as anything Neji could do!"

"Yes... But he is the one who was watching out for me..."

"You are right, Hinata-sama, but you are the one who carried out the actions. Instead of training you myself, I think all three of us should participate. Don't you agree, Lee?"

"YOSH! We shall instill the strength of blossoming youth into this as yet unopened cocoon! PREPARE TO ESCAPE A BUTTERFLY!"

"Lee, I asked for your opinion, not a string of overused metaphors."

Ten-Ten giggled. Hinata was the only one who caught the sub text of the giggle.

_So... Maybe I can do my part in Shino's plan._

"Ten-Ten?"

Ten-Ten was slightly surprised to be addressed by Neji.

"Y-yes?"

"What is your opinion?"

"Oh, yeah. Yeah! Hinata, prepare to rise heads and shoulders above the rest!"

Hinata smiled. Neji had become such a wonderful cousin.

---

"That's your plan. That's what we're going to do to them, Naruto?"

"Well, yeah, unless you have a better idea, dog-breath."

"Hmph. It just strikes me that most of your pranks involve dropping something on someone."

"Yeah, but this one's different! Just imagine their reaction when they find themselves covered in raw squid!"

"Ok. Where are we getting the squid?"

"I haven't thought that part through yet..."

Kiba slapped his forehead. Akamaru whimpered in exasperation.

"Come on, people, we have to think of something! How are we going to avenge me without a plan?"

"You know, Ino, I'm starting to wonder why I'm helping you. It's not like _I _have some quarrel with either Shino or Sakura."

"You're helping _us_, Kiba."

"What's _your_ motive, Sasuke?"

"None of your business."

"Well then, I think I quit. This is getting nowhere and I'm bored as hell. C'mon, Akamaru."

"You know what, you're right. Screw this. That kiss wasn't that bad anyway."

Naruto and Sasuke were left alone.

"So, uh... shall we go with the plan?"

"You get the squid."

---

That seems like a nice cut off point right there... Now I just have to clean up this bloody mess that Gaara made with Kimimaro, and then you can all be entertained by Iruka's new tap-dancing act.

"But I don't know how to tap-dance..."

You wanted an alternative to the yaoi, didn't you?

"I'll tap-dance. I'll tap-dance."

There ya go. Again, School has started, and it's going to be hard to crank these out, so please be patient. Also, PLEASE REVIEW! Jaa!


	9. Too Proud for a Title

I'm back! Here today with us is the ever popular Iruka!

"Shut up."

What?

"You've put me through hell already, what more do you want from me?"

He has a point. All right, Iruka, who do you propose we pick to read the disclaimer? Remember, it is a dangerous job, and that person may be killed.

"Uhhh..."

Good choice! All the way from another dimension, it's Gamabunta!

"Who the hell summoned me!"

I did. I know I don't have a contract with the frogs, but in this story, I am omnipotent. So here you are. Read the disclaimer.

"Like I'll read your stupid disclaimer! I'm the almighty boss of the frogs! Why should I bow down to you?"

All right then, would you like me to show these fine people your adorable tadpole pictures?

"HOW DID YOU GET THOSE!"

As I said, I am omnipotent. I can get whatever I want.

"Fine... You win... MasterFroda does not own Naruto or any of its characters in any way, shape, or form, except for plushie form, but that's beside the point. Can I go now?"

Sure.

Poof.

Between you and me, I don't really have his tadpole pictures... ON WITH THE SHOW!

---

**The Most Dangerous Game**

_This Chapter Refuses to be Degraded by a Title_

Shikamaru was leading Shino to the arboreum. He had seen Kiba and Ino run there.

"Are you sure you can do this alone, Shikamaru?"

"Hey, it's troublesome, but I have to do it, or else I'm dead. Anyway, I think Kiba and Ino would go great together. They are both impulsive people with short attention spans. What more could you want?"

"Why did you reject Ino?"

"None of your business. Girls are too troublesome."

"You could have just said that girls are too troublesome, but you started your sentence with 'none of your business.' What are you hiding?"

"Again, I say, none of your business. Now go away and let a master work."

Shino just turned around when he was suddenly covered with squid. Through his squiddy prison, he could hear two voices arguing.

"Naruto no baka! He wasn't even with Sakura when you released the trap!"

"How am I supposed to know who he's with, Sasuke-teme?"

"Excuse me," Said the pile of squid, "But I can hear everything you two are saying. What is your purpose?"

"GAH! The squid are talking!"

"Shut up, Naruto, it's just Shino..."

"GAH! Shino can hear us!"

"That's better..."

"Ahem," Interjected the squid.

"Oh, right. Naruto, just go away before you screw anything more up. I'll handle Shino."

"Right... Sasuke-teme..."

Naruto sulked off as Sasuke began lifting the squid off of Shino.

"Whose idea was this, anyway?" Shino asked, having been partially uncovered.

"It was Naruto's."

"Well, what is your purpose in doing this? What do you have to gain from covering me in squid?"

"We were supposed to wait until you came along with Sakura..."

"So this is about her, is it?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact, it is."

"Back off."

"What?"

"I said back off. This is not your concern, Uchiha, so I ask you to take your business elsewhere."

"Hmph."

Sasuke and Shino walked where they intended to go in the first place, but realized that they were both going in the same direction. Shino calmly closed his eyes behind his glasses and walked by ear while Sasuke took the occasional furitive glance towards Shino as if to see what he was thinking. After failing to glean any information from sight, Sasuke decided enough was enough.

"She's mine, Shino. She always has been and she always will be."

"Tell her that and make a judgement upon her response."

Sasuke was silenced. He took the nearest fork in the hallway away from Shino. At the same time, both of them had the same thought.

_Pompous bastard._

---

Ino and Kiba were sitting in the arboreum under a tree. They were exhausted from the day's events. Suddenly, something caught Kiba's nose.

"Hey, Ino?"

"Yeah, Kiba?"

"What's that smell?"

"What smell?"

"It smells like... flowers, I guess."

"We're in an arboreum."

"Nah, not flowers. It doesn't seem natural."

Kiba started to sniff Ino, which made Ino very uncomfortable, but amused nonetheless.

"It's you, isn't it?"

"You mean my perfume? Yeah, I wear perfume every day. A girl's got to smell nice even on missions, you know."

"It smells nice..."

Kiba was in bliss with the scent of Ino's perfume wafting over to him. Akamaru was in a similar state, and crawled into Ino's lap. Ino wasn't sure whether she should be flattered or offended at the boy and his dog's behavior. During the exchange, Shikamaru crept up on the pair.

_Cupid has his arrows, but I have my shadow. I know that these things are supposed to be handled delicately, but I don't have that kind of time. It's troublesome, but I'm forcing these two together... literally._

Kiba was sniffing Ino and then suddenly his body took on a mind of its own. He wrapped his arm around the kunoichi's shoulder. Ino couldn't help but fall into his grasp, as if her body was moving of its own accord as well.

_Kage kugutsu no jutsu has succeeded. I can now move those two independently of one another._

Akamaru had to jump out of Ino's lap as Kiba moved closer in and inhaled the perfume on Ino's neck. The smell intoxicated the helpless boy and now his thoughts were out of control as well as his body. His head started to swim as he was enveloped with Ino's scent. Ino herself was quite caught up in the moment, and she had one thought on her mind.

_This guy's sooooo much better than Shikamaru..._

Little did she know that Shikamaru was the one pulling the strings.

_Damn, I'm good. If all goes well, Ino will have forgotten all about me and I can go back to... No, no more thoughts about that. My mind must be in the here and now._

Shikamaru turned out to be too good for his own good, as Kiba fell unconscious from sensory overload while Ino fell on top of him and fainted from mental overload. Akamaru made a mental comment about how strange humans are and he curled up next to the pair of ninja and fell asleep. Shikamaru quietly sneaked off.

Naruto walked into the arboreum feeling dejected, and his mood was worsened by the sight before him. Ino was lying on top of Kiba and they both looked very happy with the situation. Naruto bit his lip.

_Why is everyone suddenly falling in love? Is it something about the air?_

For a split second, an image flashed in his mind of himself and Hinata in a similar position, but it was quickly erased and replaced with a steaming bowl of shrimp ramen.

_I have to go back to my room. I'm not feeling myself._

---

After careful examination of Hinata's fighting style, strategy, and use of Byakugan, Neji came to a few conclusions.

"First off, Hinata-sama, you definitely have potential. You are very adept at using your Byakugan and you know all of the basics needed to be a good ninja."

Hinata was not convinced. She felt that Neji was condescending to her. She needed some criticism or she would not be able to bear it.

"However, a Hyuuga is not supposed to be a good ninja. There is a reason why the Hyuuga are the strongest in Konoha, and you are not living up to that standard."

Although somewhat satisfied that she got some criticism, she was a bit depressed that Neji was starting to sound like her father.

"Do not become cross with me, Hinata-sama; I am simply telling you what I see. I can see why your father treats you like he does."

Hinata looked at the ground. She felt as if she was about to cry. They were all the same. Her father saw her as dirt and now Neji does too.

"However..."

Hinata's face snapped up.

"Your father and I differ in one respect. While he is willing to cast you aside for your sister, I will do no such thing. Ten-Ten, Lee, and I are going to force your father to accept you!"

A small smile crept onto Hinata's face. She could not say it, but she was truly grateful to her cousin.

---

"Finally up, eh?"

Odoruwa awoke from his torpor and was greeted by an eyebrowless face with a toothy grin.

"In case you were wondering, my name's Bakuhatsu Hanzo. It was my shift to watch over you. But now you're up! Get up! Get up! Quick, yeah?"

Odoruwa rose. Hanzo found himself dwarfed by the tall shinobi.

"You will tell me where I am."

"Err, yeah... You're in the secret makeshift base of none other than Orochimaru-sama, blessed be his name and all that, yeah."

"Orochimaru! That snake cursed me, didn't he?"

"Yep, yep, he did."

"DAMN IT! How am I supposed to carry out my mission when I'm Orochimaru's puppet?"

"Well, maybe if you ask nicely, yeah, Orochimaru could give you the Mist as a reward, yeah?"

"You irritate me."

Odoruwa swung his fist at Hanzo, who leapt out of the way in a very froglike manner.

"Best not to do that, yeah. It ain't nice to pick on teammates."

"Hrmph... Just tell me where that devil is."

"He's in the main tent. Can't miss him."

"I would say thank you, but I have no reason. All you have done is annoy me. Begone."

"You're welcome."

---

Naruto sat on his bed. Something was wrong; he could feel it in his bones. What was so disturbing about seeing Ino and Kiba lying on top of each other? What was so wrong about Sakura starting a relationship with Shino? He had seen so many girls and boys dating; why was this any different? Perhaps it was because that he was directly affected in this love triangle... No, it wasn't just a triangle; it was a love web!

_And where am I in this web?_

The thought disturbed him. Where _did_ he fit in? Certainly somewhere near Sakura, but that was simply one connection. His ninja intuition, which rarely kicked in, was telling him that he was more involved in this love web than it initially appeared.

_Someone likes me. But who?_

Naruto was totally baffled by this question. He knew no one who showed signs of attraction. Sakura was definitely out; she only had eyes for Sasuke... or is it Shino now? Anyway, she was not Naruto's admirer. Ino? Hell no. She wouldn't give him a second glance, much less fawn over him. Ten-Ten didn't know him well enough to really develop a crush...

_And Hinata? Hinata, well, she's just... wait..._

_Hinata? No... No, no no. That can't be. Or can it? Is it really that impossible for someone to... like me? If she liked me, would she call me an idiot? Or was calling me an idiot some sort of message?_

"I need ramen..."

And so, like a true junkie, Naruto went off to get his fix in order to take his mind off of his current problems.

---

Just when Naruto was nearing the ramen stand, he was stopped in his place.

"We're moving. Now."

"Kakashi-sensei? But I was about to eat..."

"You're not going to fight on a full stomach, are you?"

"Wait, you mean we're actually going to do something?"

"Something came up. The Sound is looking for Sasuke, and the Mizukage does not want the Sound to find us in the true underwater city. We've officially worn out our welcome here. Most of the other ninja are already going up the elevator. Come on, Naruto!"

"All right! Finally we get off our asses!"

Kakashi and Naruto were soon joined by Sakura and Sasuke as they headed towards the elevator.

"It's just like old times, isn't it?" Kakashi noted.

The three Genin responded true to form.

"Yeah," said Sakura.

"**SHANNARRO!**" screamed Inner Sakura.

Sasuke responded with a "Hmph."

Naruto jumped around with a plethora of ecstatic interjections.

Kakashi smiled behind his mask. Team 7 was together again.

---

The Konoha ninja regrouped on the surface. They were to escape the village in a widely spread formation, so that they could move quickly, and still be able to aid anyone who was intercepted. Naturally, they were intercepted by six figures.

A familiar, deep voice rang out.

"It seems that I've suddenly taken an allegiance. How irritating," Odoruwa sighed

Naruto's eyes widened.

"You! You're with Orochimaru?"

"What of it?"

Kakashi stepped forward, keeping Naruto from doing anything rash.

"What do you want with us?"

"Him." Odoruwa pointed to Sasuke.

"As I thought. SCATTER!"

As soon as Kakashi said those words, the Konoha shinobi split up again. Most notably, Neji grabbed Sasuke and ran. Kumomaru saw this.

"He's mine."

During all of the commotion, Shino was staring at Zatoichi. Zatoichi's blind sockets stared back at Shino behind similar sunglasses. When the ninja scattered, Zatoichi made sure that he followed Shino.

The rest of the Sound-nin attempted to follow Neji and Sasuke, but they were cut off by other members of Konoha's group. A chaotic yet graceful re-arrangement ensued, in which the Sound-nin tried to maneuver their way around the Konoha-nin, but in doing so, merely got themselves more tangled. The two groups were scattered to an irreparable degree. All of this was done without a single attempted strike. The resulting arrangement was concieved.

Neji and Sasuke were being followed not only by the enemy Kumomaru, but also by the ally, Ten-Ten.

Shino and Zatoichi made a wordless agreement that they would confront each other alone. Sakura, however, followed without either one's knowledge.

The Ino-Shika-Chou-Asuma combination was held intact, as they forced Hanzo away from the retreating Neji and Sasuke.

Gai and Lee stuck together, and were joined by Kiba. They pushed Hikon and Hyokon away from the rest of the group.

Odoruwa was the only one who did not move an inch. He was very unenthusiastic about his new assignment, and eyed his opponents. Naruto and Hinata stared at Odoruwa resolutely. Kakashi and Kurenai stood behind their respective pupils.

"Now," Odoruwa dryly said, "Let's get this bloodbath over with."

---

Wow, it's so hard to update now; it's a wonder that I got this out at all! Sorry to keep you all waiting! School has been... unkind to me. Anyway, the next update should come out... sometime. In any case, I will have had a long time to think about it, so it should be good... I hope. Anyway, stay tuned for more of Iruka puttin' on the ritz!

"When you're blue, and you don't know where to go to, why don't you go where fashion sits? PUTTIN' ON THE RITZ!"


	10. Hustle, Hustle!

It seems as if the filler episodes in the anime contradict my story. In the filler episodes, they introduce one of the remaining five Shinobi-Gatana (out of seven). I have introduced all five in my story. This presents a problem for me, so I ask, dear readers, that you overlook the discrepancy and assume that my fic is slightly AU, for it makes an assumption that is no longer true. Also, I have recieved many complaints about my choice to pair Ino and Kiba. I have also received many letters of encouragement. All I have to say to you nay-sayers is, please bear with me; you may detest some characters, but I happen to love them all... (except Sasuke.) Ino is by no means my favorite, but she isn't a monster. Anyway, I am going to try to make it worthwile for all of you. GAMBATTE! Anyway, today's disclaimer reader is Dosu, back from the grave!

"Hello."

Uh-oh, here comes Mr. P0wnage himself, Sabbaku no Gaara! Hey, why are you looking at me with such betrayed eyes...err... eye, Dosu?

"Not him again... He killed me, remember?"

Oh, right. Um, Gaara?

"Sabbaku Kyuu!"

"GhhllaalKKjhjfklllkKKKrrraalkkkfffggk!"

Too late... I guess I'll read the disclaimer then. I do not own Naruto or any of its characters... Will you quiet down, Dosu, and die a bit more peacefully?

"FlllaaaAArrrghhhaakkkkI'lltrybutithurtssobadKKKAAAHHHKKFLALGeeeeeeep..."

As I was saying, I don't own...

"I'm not dead yet..."

Yes you are. I don't own Naruto or any of its characters. Also, I am planning on a sequel, so the last chapter of the story will not be the end. This is not the last chapter, anyway. Now...

YON!

SAN!

NI!

ICHI!

---

**The Most Dangerous Game**

_Hustle, Hustle!_

---

"I thought I'd see you two again..." Odoruwa drawled. "The loud blond and the Jyuuken girl. Which reminds me, I still need to get back at you for that horribly painful jutsu you used on me."

Hinata paled visibly. Naruto stepped forward menacingly.

"You... Why? Why did you join Orochimaru?" He yelled.

"It isn't like I had a choice..."

—**Flashback—**

"Do come in, my pet, and sit down."

"Devil take you, Orochimaru."

"Now, now, is that any way to accept hospitality?"

"I don't want your damn hospitality; I want this seal off my neck!"

Orochimaru chuckled.

"It is true that I could take it off you, but you are so much stronger with it on..."

"I'm nobody's puppet, Orochimaru."

"According to the circumstances, I would say you are. Now, how about you and I make a deal?"

"I'm listening."

"I don't really need your body in the long run, although you would make an excellent soldier. I am willing to undo the seal if you help your new comrades in a certain assignment..."

"What assignment?"

"I want Sasuke-kun back... He's gone missing, and he is essential to my ambition. I do not care if it is you who catches him, but there will be a great reward for the one who does. If you are not interested, you can simply kill any of his guardians you come across, and I will fulfill my end of the bargain."

"What's the reward?"

"You don't want it."

"Why not?"

"Suffice it to say that accepting the extra reward will require you to stay in my service forever."

"Fine. I'll just do what I do best. I'll kill."

---

"That's why I was the only one not to move. Now, do you see my side of the story?"

Naruto, Kakashi, Hinata, and Kurenai stared at Odoruwa.

Kakashi mumbled to his allies that the talking was over. "The trees in this forest are going to become a lot shorter. Get to the ground!"

Before anyone could protest, Kakashi knocked everyone to the forest floor. It was a wise move, for Odoruwa had summoned his sword, and...

"Kenpou: RANBATSU!" (Sword art: Reckless Deforestation)

All of the tops of the trees within one square mile were sliced off in one fell stroke. The entire battlefield was clear; there was nowhere to hide except for below.

"What the hell was that?" Naruto screamed.

"That," Kakashi dryly stated, "Was the elimination of stealth from this battle. This guy does not want subtlety, which is exactly what we should give him."

"Why is that?" Kurenai asked.

"If this guy is anything like Zabuza or Kisame, he should not be a brilliant strategist. All he has is raw power."

"But it's four against one!" Naruto yelled, "We can just take him, can't we, Kakashi-sensei?"

"No. He's far too strong. Kurenai-san, you need to trap him in a Genjutsu. That's the only way we can win. I'll distract him, and Naruto, Hinata, you two strike once he's let his guard down.

All four nodded in assent. Kakashi jumped up onto a stump.

"Trying to protect the others, Kakashi? How noble of you. You will die first!"

Kakashi raised his forehead protector and opened his Sharingan eye.

Odoruwa brought his sword down over Kakashi, but the copy ninja jumped to another stump. The sword pivoted and went toward Kakashi horizontally, but Kakashi jumped up and landed on the wide blade as it came past him. He ran up the length of the blade, trying to get in close.

"It's useless!"

Odoruwa spun the sword in his hand, forcing Kakashi to jump off.

Meanwhile, Kurenai was forming hand seals as fast as she could. First, she cast an invisibility jutsu on herself, and then started forming seals for a binding jutsu.

"Wait until he is caught in the Genjutsu before you make your move, Naruto, Hinata."

Kakashi was having a bit of trouble with Odoruwa; he was able to avoid the attacks, but was unable to make any of his own. Odoruwa wasn't using any jutsu he could copy; just sword combat. Perhaps this guy was not as stupid as he had thought. Just then, Odoruwa's arm was caught by a branch of a nearby stump. Then, his legs sunk into the stump he was on, while more branches came out to envelop him.

"Naruto! Hinata! Now!"

Naruto had thought ahead for once, and already had a Rasengan ready. The two Genin jumped out of their hiding places, ready to deliver two very dangerous attacks to Odoruwa's abdomen.

"Impressive strategy, but I'm too good for that!"

Instead of releasing himself from the Genjutsu, he simply convinced himself that the branches were real, and he actually broke out of them. Naruto's Rasengan was quickly blocked by the huge sword. Odoruwa was not prepared for the strength of the attack, though, and was shot back by the typhoon. Upon recovering, he apparently punched the air to the left of him. To the surprise of the Konoha ninja, the place where he punched was exactly where Kurenai was hiding. She was not expecting such a strong blow to her gut, and was disabled. Odoruwa lifted her with one hand and threw her at the others. Then, he flung a makibishi net right after her, trapping the four ninja. Kakashi tried to cut out of it.

"It's useless, Kakashi. That net is made of iron fibers. You will need a lot of time to use an attack to break it, and time is precisely what you don't have!"

---

Sasuke was getting tired of Neji carrying him during their evasion of Kumomaru.

"Put me down, Neji! I can run by myself!"

"No, Sasuke, it's you they're after, and who knows what would happen if you fell behind?"

"We can take whoever is following us, you know."

"It would be better not to. I recognize that man."

"I know all of their strengths and weaknesses! They were my elite subordinates, remember?"

"You may _know_ their weaknesses, but if you are unable to exploit them, your knowledge is useless. We are not stopping."

"Yes we are!"

Sasuke escaped Neji's grip and landed on a tree branch. Neji stared at him with unfriendly eyes.

"As you wish, Sasuke. If you are planning to go back to Orochimaru, though, I will not let you."

"Oh, I would let him," said a menacing voice from behind, "It would be in your best interests to surrender him peacably."

Neji retained his cool. "You are..."

"Kumomaru, Jounin of the Sound. If memory serves correctly, you are Hyuuga Neji."

Neji slowly turned around so that he was looking at Kumomaru through the corners of his eyes.

"Yes, I am Hyuuga Neji. I do not believe that I have made your acquaintance, although your appearance is familiar."

Indeed, Kumomaru was the spitting image of Kidomaru, whom Neji had recently fought. This new spider shinobi looked much older, though, as was implied by his white hair (done in a topknot just like his grandson's) and his thin, scraggly beard. His physique was by no means frail, though; he even seemed more muscular that Kidomaru. Kumomaru crossed two of his six arms and gave a toothy grin.

"My suspicions were correct, then, that you are the one who killed my grandson. I can't say that I'm very surprised. I am ashamed to have a descendant as careless as him. He was, however, useful, as I was able to glean some information from the battlefield as to how the fight went. That boy did his research well, and now I know about the shortcomings of your Byakugun."

Sasuke, feeling a bit left out, butted in.

"Enough talk, old man. I'm going to free myself from your master, and if you get in the way, you're getting killed."

"Bah, Sasuke-sama, I can't have you interfering, lest you get hurt. Orochimaru wants you in one piece, after all." Kumomaru formed a quick hand seal and spat out a large web to trap Sasuke. Neji jumped in front and sliced the web in twain.

"This may be a fight between us, but Sasuke is staying out of your hands! By the way..."

Neji rushed up to Kumomaru.

"You should not have confronted me up close!"

With that, Neji rammed his two fingers into Kumomaru's heart. Instead of coughing up blood, Kumomaru exploded into a large sphere of spider webbing. The sphere caught Neji by surprise and captured him. Before Neji could break out, a lone kunai flew through the air and pierced his blind spot. He fell down, and Kumomaru jumped from his hiding place.

"Come, Sasuke, you can't beat me without Jyuuken. Let's go back to Orochimaru-sama.

Just then, Neji flipped up.

"Jyuukenhou: Hakke Rokujuuyonshou!"

Kumomaru tried to back away, but he was caught in Neji's divination field, and there was no escape.

"Hakke Nishou! Yonshou! Hachishou!"

The first fourteen strikes landed, and Kumomaru was helpless to stop the onslought.

"Juurokushou! Sanjuunishou! Rokujuuyonshou!"

Kumomaru fell into the underbrush, and Neji followed. As expected, what he saw was a figure clad in golden armor. Instead of stopping, however, Neji sprinted towards Kumomaru and, with a deft palm strike, broke the armor. He then proceeded to hit more tenketsu until Kumomaru was thoroughly battered.

"One more blow... THERE!"

Neji struck Kumomaru in the abdomen with such force that he split open. To Neji's surprise, the Kumomaru he had fought was not real either, as it split into millions of tiny spiders. Neji was not about to find out whether or not the spiders were dangerous, so he opened all of the chakra points on his hand and burned all of the spiders off.

Kumomaru shouted from the trees, "How were you able to get up after that? I hit you right in the blind spot!"

"Did you really think I would enter battle unprotected?" Neji responded. "I have put a thick piece of armor right over my blind spot so that nothing like that would happen again!"

"Very nice, very nice! You are a smart one, aren't you? Well then, I may as well get serious."

Kumomaru activated his curse seal all the way to the second level; he was not about to waste any more time. He regurgitated a golden bow, but this bow was different from his grandson's. It was a composite bow, instead of a regular longbow, and it had two strings instead of one. After the bow, a twisted arrow came out, much like the final one that Kidomaru used on Neji, only it was quite a bit longer and thicker.

"Accuracy: 120. Damage: the most immense!"

He streched the bow and shot his arrow. The arrow was moving at an incredible speed, but for some reason, was completely silent. Neji did not see or hear it coming. Fortunately for him, someone else did.

Ten-Ten jumped out of the trees and threw three sai at the arrow. The sai hooked the arrow and nailed it to the ground.

"Ten-Ten!"

"I couldn't let you die, could I?"

Sasuke was using Kumomaru's fight with Neji as a distraction to sneak up on the spider ninja.

"I have you now."

"Think again, Sasuke-sama."

Kumomaru was expecting Sasuke to make some kind of move, so he had a special trap planted. He released the trap with his finger, and thousands of strands of web shot out at Sasuke, effectively trapping him against a tree. He was unable to escape.

"I would just take you now and escape, but I have to take care of these two. Why don't you relax and watch your friends die?"

---

"LEE! THE SPRINGTIME OF YOUTH IS IN US! LET US DEFEAT THESE TWO SUCCUBUSES AND PROVE THAT OUR FISTS OF LOVE ARE THE STRONGEST!"

Kiba sighed as Gai screamed inspiring words to his pupil. Lee was staring in awe at his "super-cool" sensei.

"Yosh! I will live up to your example, Gai-sensei! Our power shall overwhelm them!"

Kiba sighed again. His day was not going very well at all. He had woken up with Ino (ew) on top of him, and was ashamed that he was in such a situation. What was he thinking? What was _she_ thinking? Anyway, after having that out-of-body experience, he was dragged to the surface to fight the Sound, who was after Sasuke _again_. That might not have been so bad, had he not been stuck with fuzzy-eyebrows and his teacher, even fuzzier-eyebrows. He looked at his opponents, who were in stitches at the antics of the two green beasts of Konoha.

_I never thought I'd see the day when I would feel self-conscious around ENEMIES._

Kiba looked up again at his two opponents. They looked like identical twins; both had flowing, billowing hair and seductive, curvaceous bodies. They wore very tight fitting outfits for maximum flexibility, only the outfits _worked_ on them; unlike Lee and Gai. One was dressed completely in red and had orange hair that seemed to be constantly in motion. The other wore blue and had white hair that was, like her sister's hair, constantly moving. They both had very wicked eyes that matched their outfits. The only strange thing was that they both wielded unusual weapons for ninja: they were both armed with a broom. The red one stopped laughing long enough to make her haughty speech.

"Allow me to introduce myself: My name is Hikon, and this is my sister, Hyokon! We will be the ones to dance upon your corpses today!"

_My, she's direct,_ Kiba thought.

Gai and Lee immediately dropped their silly demeanor and instantly radiated righteous menace. Kiba was surprised at the quick transformation, but he fell into his own combat stance.

"You ready, guys?" Kiba asked.

"Yes, sir!" Lee replied.

"Then let's waste no more time. Let's go, Akamaru!" Kiba howled.

Akamaru and Kiba started running in a zigzag pattern toward the sisters. Lee and Gai ran along the edges of the zigzag. Hyokon (the blue one) chuckled.

"Too simple... Hyoton: Hyorou no jutsu!"

A block of ice encased Akamaru, freezing him into place. Kiba rushed to help his comrade.

"Allow me! Konoha Senpuu!"

Lee shattered the block of ice with his kick. Akamaru immediately changed into his human form, a duplicate of Kiba.

While this was going on, Gai had reached Hikon and was trying to land a punch on her, but she, to his surprise, was too fast, and she seemed to leave behind a trail of fire when she moved.

"It's useless. I'm as quick as fire itself!"

She formed some equally fast hand seals.

"Katon: Housenka no jutsu!"

A spray of fireballs came from her mouth in rapid succession. Gai managed to dodge them, and brought his heel down on Hikon's shoulder. Hikon wasn't expecting him to survive the blast, so she was caught off guard. She was crushed to the ground, and she rolled backwards to avoid another blow.

"Hmph. I suppose you're worthy enough for me to turn up the heat!"

"Your bad puns are no match for me, o shinobi bereft of honor!"

Without another word, Hikon activated the first level of her curse seal. Black lines crawled across her body as she began to laugh at what (she assumed) would soon become of her opponent. Hyokon, seeing her sister activate the seal, used hers as well. Lee, Kiba, and Akamaru assumed defensive stances.

Hikon and Hyokon both formed nearly identical seals at the same time, and they each bellowed, respectively,

"Katon: Karyuudan no Jutsu!"

"Hyoton: Hyoryuudan no Jutsu!"

A fire dragon and an ice dragon erupted from each of their hands and rushed towards the Konoha ninja, leaving destruction in their wake. Upon impact, half the area was charred and the other half was frozen. Luckily, all four ninja (Akamaru included) were able to avoid most of the damage.

"Damn... they're strong..." Kiba grunted.

"Leave this to us, Kiba-san. Distract the ice user while we go for the fire user," Lee responded.

"What do you have in mind?"

"Double Ura Renge..." Lee smirked as he said it, and Gai understood. The stakes of this battle would soon become much higher.

---

"Aburame Shino."

"Who are you, and how do you know my name?"

"In due time, Aburame Shino, In due time."

Zatoichi seemed to be taunting Shino. It was as if he was goading him to make the first move. Shino, however, wasn't that stupid. All he did was stand there and look into the sunglasses of his opponent. They seemed to be identical to his. Zatoichi was also wearing a trench coat similar to Shino's. The hair, although gray, was in a similar style to Shino's.

"I repeat: Who are you?"

"I repeat myself, Aburame Shino, In due time. Let me test you first, to see if you are worthy of such knowledge."

Sakura watched from behind some foliage. She decided that it would be best to lull the enemy into thinking that he only had one opponent, and then to come out when Shino needed her.

Zatoichi drew his sword from his cane, and rushed at Shino with surprising speed. Shino closed his eyes.

_Downward stroke from upper left._

Shino ducked and moved to his right, and heard the sound of a blade cutting through air. His ears were working well. Sakura was amazed.

_How did he dodge that so smoothly? That's something that Sasuke would have done with his Sharingan... Can he predict his opponent's movements simply through seeing them?_

Unbeknownst to her, Sakura's hypothesis was almost correct. Shino could not predict attacks through seeing them, but he could predict attacks through _hearing_ them. It was actually the Aburame clan's little-known Doujutsu, only instead of special eyes, Shino had super-sensitive ears that could pick up on the tiniest differences in air pressure. For example, if one were to slowly hold a finger up to his ear, he could hear the finger. Shino was now using his Doujutsu in combat, as was evident from his graceful evasion of Zatoichi's attacks.

"Excellent, Aburame Shino, but you must realize that being blind has left me with little but hearing. I would be surprised if your ears can match mine."

Shino knew what his opponent was doing. He was trying to confuse Shino's ears by talking. Shino would not be thrown off so easily, however. He quickly dodged the next few sword strokes and threw a punch at Zatoichi. The blind man smirked.

"You missed. Oh? What's this? A bug?"

Before the female bug could land on Zatoichi, he quickly sliced it in half.

"Trying to plant a female bug on me, eh, Shino? A good strategy, but I am very familiar with Aburame strategy."

"You aren't simply a traitor from Konoha, are you?"

"Such a bright boy. No, I have some special significance to you. You could even say that I was a relative..."

"Who are you?"

Zatoichi stood straight and adjusted his glasses on his nose. Bugs began to swarm around him.

"My name... is Aburame Shiranui."

For the first time in a long time, Shino's eyes widened in surprise and horror. Shiranui smiled, as if he could see Shino's shock. He decided to deepen the emotional blow.

"It is good to hear your voice again... Nephew."

---

Hanzo didn't even bother to talk. He wanted Orochimaru's reward, whatever it was, and that meant that he had to dispatch with these ninja as quickly as possible. With a manic cackle, he released a flurry of exploding tags and leapt into the foliage. Asuma and his team didn't even have time to get a good look at their opponent's visage before they had to spring into action. Shikamaru, Asuma, and Ino dodged out of the way of the blasts while Chouji took the force head on.

_What's he thinking? _Shikamaru thought to himself, _Chouji's tough, but he can't withstand an explosion like that!_

This, however, was one of the rare moments in which Shikamaru was proven wrong. In fact, Shikamaru didn't even feel any ripple from the blast, as Chouji had stretched himself into a pancake and had contained the explosion within one section of the forest. Hanzo was displeased.

_Who the hell is this guy? No matter... He isn't invincible. No one is invincible. Everyone has some weakness... Yeah... Perhaps if I get rid of his teammates..._

Hanzo had a plan. He rushed through the trees, giggling in sinister glee all the while. The four Leaf ninja were on their guard.

"He's going to make his move soon." Asuma stated.

"Yeah..." Shikamaru nodded in assent.

Hanzo dropped down from his hiding place right in front of Shikamaru.

"Hello!"

Shikamaru was puzzled. _This isn't very ninja-like..._

"Goodbye!"

_This guy's kinda blunt..._

Hanzo's cheeks bulged, and he stuck his tongue out. A cherry bomb rolled out of his mouth onto his tongue as if he was a gum-ball dispenser.

"ENKEIDAN!" (round bomb)

"I won't let you! Kagemane no jutsu!"

Shikamaru's shadow shot out from him as Hanzo was about to lob his bomb. Hanzo was unfamiliar with the technique and was immediately caught.

"That bomb's going to explode in your hand, now. What can you do?"

"Simple. This bomb's a fake. Any bomb-user knows how to create a fuhatsudan. (Dud bomb.)"

"Yeah, but you still can't move. Now, Chouji!"

Chouji came forth with his meatball tank attack, just as Hanzo had forseen. Suddenly, as Chouji was about 10 meters from Hanzo, an explosion sent him flying into the air, and it was clear that he would miss Hanzo. It was also clear that the explosion had changed Chouji's trajectory, and now he was about to land on Shikamaru.

"This is bad!"

Shikamaru had to release the jutsu to escape his out-of-control teammate, but as he was running backward, he tripped a wire, and two explosions sent two trees coming down upon him. Luckily, Asuma was there to bail him out, but Hanzo was already making his next move. He had already activated his curse seal and was right below Asuma right after he had saved Shikamaru.

"NINPOU: SAIRUIDAN!" (Ninja art: Tear gas bomb)

Hanzo shoved a small, sticky disc onto Asuma's jacket and jumped away. Asuma was unable to pull the bomb off before it went off. A gas erupted from the disc and Asuma and Shikamaru were blinded; their eyes had become irritated by the gas.

_Two down, one is over there... wait, where's the fourth one?_

"Shintenshin no jutsu!"

Ino's psyche rushed toward Hanzo, only to be sent reeling back upon entry. Ino snapped to consciousness, and strangely, she felt worn out, as if she had just recovered from an explosion. Hanzo smirked.

"How unlucky! I had a feeling that someone would try and use a mind-jutsu like that, yeah! Very dangerous, very dangerous indeed! A word to the wise, don't try that again! I've got shin'ijirai (mind mines) set up all over my head! Come close, and boom, yeah!"

Ino was quite paralyzed by the attack.

_It's up to you, Chouji!_

"Now, time to take care of the big guy! You're obviously the strongest one here, so I'm going to go all out!"

By that time, Chouji was his normal size again, but what he heard astounded him.

_He thinks... I'm the strongest?_

What Chouji saw, that is, Hanzo's transformation, was strange, but not nearly as strange as his previous comment. Chouji was stupefied as he saw Hanzo's wispy blond hair turn black, and Chouji grew even more stupefied as Hanzo began to sprout black hair from his skin. In the end, Hanzo had a thick coat of black fur, and his impish little eyes and wide grin almost made him look cute, in a weird sort of way.

"Now, my big-boned friend, prepare yourself to give me as much fun as possible, yeah! I wouldn't have the heart to kill you, otherwise. However, if you don't fight me, I will have the heart to kill your friends, yeah, I will. If you will note, each one of them has an explosive device attached to their backs. FIGHT ME!"

Hanzo, in his mania, had completely forgotten about Orochimaru's prize. The prize could shove itself in its own proverbial ass, as he was concerned. He had found an interesting person, and he was determined to have the best time of his life. He mused to himself that this guy would make a great friend under other circumstances, but Hanzo couldn't really act upon his instinct, as he was quite bound to his master. He had grown to love this person without even knowing him, and he would show his love by fighting him.

Chouji was disturbed by this guy's amiability, especially considering his most recent experience with the sound. He had been called a loser and a weakling then, and now, he was lauded as the strongest. The enemy didn't even call him a fatass!

_This person..._ he thought, _Is a good guy caught in bad circumstances._

So, both ninja looked at each other's eyes, and silence fell on the battlefield. Neither one was willing to make the first move, and so, they just stood there. Neither one relaxed from their ready position, but neither one showed any sign of movement. Chouji felt something from underground, and he jumped away just in time to escape from an explosion right under his feet. By the time the smoke cleared, Hanzo had disappeared, but Chouji could still hear the maniacal laughter coming from the trees above.

---

Odoruwa stepped toward his prey. He had them netted; this battle was over. Then, the unexpected happened. A white flash blocked him from coming closer to the net, and he was forced back. Then, he was driven further back by a huge gush of water. Three ninja landed near the trapped Leaf shinobi.

"I'm glad we found you guys," said Kiniro.

The white flash zipped back to the net, and assumed the form of Raiken. "But now, we're here to back you up," he added.

Morimoto slowly rolled forward. He was bound to a wheelchair, but he could still use ninjutsu, and was able to control his chair with chakra. How he was able to hop from stump to stump was anyone's guess.

"I'm glad you came. Now, maybe, we can face this guy on equal ground," said Kakashi.

In a very dramatic fashion, Morimoto came forth and addressed Odoruwa: "Your plans shall not come to fruition, demon! We, your former comrades have finally escaped your servitude, and now we confront you. The circle is now complete!"

---

I snigger to myself at that last line. Why, oh, why did I have to insert a Star Wars quote in there? Ah, well. I wash my hands of it.

"I quite liked it, to tell the truth."

Thank you, Dosu... WHAT? You're still not dead?

"No... you had to raise me with Edo Tensei, that forbidden jutsu, remember? I can't die unless you seal my soul away..."

Oh... Um, who did we kill in order to raise you? And on a totally unrelated subject, where is Iruka?

"I'm right here."

Oh. Thank God I didn't use you.

"...I'm not sure whether I should be relieved or insulted."

Ohh, now I remember! I used Raiga, that BS Shinobi-Gatana that they inserted into the fillers! Thank you, Raiga! I know you love funerals, so I gave you one of your very own. Anyway, jaa until next time!


	11. ENDGAME

Hey, guys, it's been a while! Almost two years, if I'm correct.

…Yes, I know it's been that long. This chapter is long overdue, but it should conclude the cliffhangers. Finally. There should probably be another chapter after this one, just to wrap things up and tie up loose ends. I'm going to leave a few untied on purpose, because there are some aspects of the story that I just want to ignore …coughunnecessarypairingscough .

Anyway, as is custom for this story, I'll let someone new read the disclaimer. We've gotten a bunch of new members of Akatsuki since we left off, so let's let one of them do it. How about it, boys?

"They all left me here to do it."

Kisame? But we already know you from pre-timeskip stuff!

"Yeah, well, I don't get enough love. And nobody else wants to do it."

All right…Do it, Kisame.

"Naruto and all of the characters involved belong to Masashi Kishimoto. I, however, belong only to my beloved…"

Is that a halibut, Kisame?

"IT IS!"

**The Most Dangerous Game**

_Chapter 11_

_ENDGAME_

* * *

"Your plans shall not come to fruition, demon! We, your former comrades, have finally escaped your servitude, and now we confront you! The circle is now complete!"

Morimoto boldly addressed Odoruwa. Odoruwa retorted:

"Keh! You're half-dead already..."

With awesome fury, Odoruwa's sword came down upon Morimoto. The other shinobi stood in shock.

"He...he didn't even finish his speech yet," Kiniro stammered, "You're a horrible creature!"

"Silence, dog!"

Odoruwa quashed Kiniro with his words, and then attempted to slice him in half. Kiniro barely escaped with his life. Raiken zipped around the giant sword and stabbed Odoruwa in the gut, but instead of a death cry, he was met with laughter!

"Keh heh heh heh heh...I'm no ordinary human, you wretch! I am Odoruwa, the paragon of evolution! You can't kill me with swords and knives alone!"

With that, Odoruwa's seal activated, and he was covered in black. Then, he began to _grow_. He grew to the extent that his gigantic sword was now in proportion to the rest of his body. Raiken was left dangling from Odoruwa's enormous abdomen.

"Now, you shall witness the power of he who shall rule the Water Country!"

Kiba could only stand dumbfounded as Lee and Gai began breaking their inner chakra gates. Their skin turned red. Their pupils rolled back into their heads. Their immense amount of chakra began whirling about them. Suddenly, they sprang into action. Lee and Gai sprinted in different directions, and each kicked a sister into the air. Then, they began beating the living daylights out of them. In their minds, they realized that this was not the best technique to start off with, seeing as how it would damage their bodies, but they needed to end this quickly and this would do the trick. Suddenly, both green beasts turned and slammed their opponents into the ground with the full force of their feet. They yelled in unison:

"URA RENGE!"

As soon as they had finished, they collapsed next to their fallen foes. One of the sisters' arm twitched. Kiba noticed this, and came down on her with a punch to the gut. This made him feel a bit more useful in the presence of these two maniacs.

Akamaru, as if he shared the same sentiment as his master, began gnawing on the hand of the other body.

* * *

"YES! Yoooooou shall be my opponent, nice guy!"

Hanzo giggled with glee at the thought of challenging his new "friend." Chouji was very nervous; aside from Jiroubou, he hadn't won a one-on-one battle before. Would he have to use his pills again, and go through the physical trauma?

"WE SHALL DUEL...IN SHOUGI!!!"

Shikamaru was shocked.

_Shougi? Chess?! This guy's a nut! I wish he had chosen me as his opponent. I don't lose at that game to just anyone..._

Chouji was horrified. He knew how to play shougi; he had played against Shikamaru hundreds of times. And he always lost. He gulped.

"In this game, each captured piece EXPLODES IN ITS OWNER'S FACE!"

Hanzo was getting manic at the thought of explosions. He began to cough up a few explosive pieces as he pulled a charred board from his backpack. He had obviously played this way before.

"Um...Aren't we going to fight?" Chouji asked.

"NONSENSE! There's no need to fight among friends, yeah?" Hanzo retorted.

"True, but if you're going to try and kill me anyway..."

"ENOUGH TALK! WE PLAY NOW! YESSS!!!"

* * *

Kumomaru gazed at his new enemy.

_A girl comes to save the Hyuuga boy? How droll. I shall put an end to this and take Sasuke back to Orochimaru._

His thoughts were interrupted by a rain of kunai. The spider ninja leapt back into the shadows.

_I see...They're using the eyesight of the Hyuuga in combination with the accuracy of the girl. This could get ugly. I may be forced to retreat...but not quite yet._

Kumomaru spat out three arrows, each tied to strings from his mouth. He loaded them into his bow.

_300 accuracy...I won't miss._

He fired all three arrows. They wound around every obstacle they encountered, and began to circle the two leaf ninja. Neji noticed one of them.

"Tenten! He's attacking again!"

"Right! No problem for me!"

With Neji's guidance, Tenten launched an array of weapons at the incoming arrow. They were able to stop the arrow dead in its tracks, but this was the outcome Kumomaru had intended. He willed the second arrow to strike at Tenten. Neji saw the arrow coming, but he knew that Tenten didn't have time to dodge it. Without a moment's hesitation, Neji pushed Tenten out of the way and took the arrow in the shoulder. Tenten rushed over to him.

"Neji! Are you all right?"

"Tenten...behind you!"

It was too late. The third arrow ran through Tenten right into Neji. They were both trapped, and were wounded severely.

"It looks like..." Neji interrupted himself to cough up a bit of blood, which trickled down Tenten's cheek. "It looks like we both fell for it."

"Neji."

"What is it, Tenten?"

"Are we both going to die?"

Neji looked down. Although both arrows had impaled both of them, their internal organs were left untouched.

"The good news...is that there's no major damage..."

"And the bad news?"

"We could bleed to death if we're not given medical attention soon."

"Wonderful."

Kumomaru leapt down from his hiding place.

"Thank me, Konoha ninja, for I have spared both of you. However, you should not try to escape. Any attempt would most likely result in your death. By the time the medics arrive, I will be long gone, with my prize." He motioned toward Sasuke, who was tied up in webbing. "Until then, I hope you enjoy each other's company. This will be a nice bonding experience for you two."

With those words, Kumomaru vanished into the shadows, taking Sasuke with him.

"I'll say one thing," Tenten said, "that guy has good aim."

"Yes, that's all well and good, but we lost Sasuke!"

"Neji. Sweetheart. Don't stress over it so much. We're alive! We can try and get Sasuke back again, once we've healed!."

"Did you just call me sweetheart?"

Tenten blushed. "Did I? It must have been a mistake."

"Tenten, if your heart beats faster, you'll lose more blood."

Tenten looked crestfallenly at Neji. Flirting was obviously outside of his area of expertise.

_Men._

* * *

**KABOOM.**

Chouji was never very good at shougi. He was lucky, though. The explosion, instead of killing him instantly, had flung him into the air...right at some enormous giant! Chouji knew what he had to do.

"CHOU BAIKA NO JUTSU!"

Chouji grew into a giant himself, and body-slammed the giant who was in his path. The two behemoths collapsed to the ground and shrunk.

"He...just body-slammed Odoruwa..." Kiniro stammered.

"So much for the 'pinnacle of human evolution.'" Kakashi said.

Naruto and Hinata stood agape at their once-formidable foe. They looked at each other. They looked back at the smoking pile that consisted of Chouji, Odoruwa, and a very squashed Raiken. Just as they turned to look at each other again, the enormous sword that Odoruwa had wielded crashed down right between them. They both shivered at their mutual near-death experience.

Kiniro approached the pile, and noticed that Odoruwa's mask had broke in half, and underneath, there was no face.

"His weak spot was...the mask? Come to think of it, that would have been a pretty obvious place to put it. Why didn't we think of attacking there?" Kiniro asked.

Kurenai, annoyed at how absurdly their battle had concluded, walked off in a huff.

* * *

"Aburame...Shiranui..."

Shino's blood ran cold through his veins. He knew about his traitorous uncle, and how he had tried to sell out the Aburame clan to its enemies. He had no idea, though, that Shiranui the traitor still lived.

"I thought you were executed, Shibi! Father told me so! He said that you had to pay for your crimes against the clan!"

"It broke your heart, didn't it, Shino?" Shiranui replied, "You didn't want to see your dear uncle die. Lucky for you, I'm still alive. Shall I go butterfly catching with you again, for old times' sake? Oh, no...you've probably outgrown that by now. What do young boy ninjas do in their spare time? Do they still spar? Let's spar, Shino."

"How are you still alive, and why are you still working for the enemies of Konoha?"

Shiranui's thick beard curled into a smile.

"It has always been the principle of Konoha ninja to spare the life of their enemies when it is convenient for them. Your father, Shibi, has adopted that policy, and as such, he is soft. He definitely should have killed me. Instead, he thought that taking out my eyes would render me impotent enough for a sentence of exile. He could not have been more wrong. You should know that the ninja of the Aburame clan have no need for eyes. Our ears are more than enough to allow us to fight. In fact, I believe that my blindness has done nothing but strengthen my capabilities as a ninja. I don't need the eggs, anyway."

From her hiding place, Sakura listened to the conversation.

_Eggs? What does he mean by that?_ She thought.

"Anyway, Shino, let's not let this get in the way of our kinship. Shall we spar?"

Shino realized that his uncle was just trying to get him agitated. If he was to win this battle, he would have to maintain his composure. He let out a deep breath, and resumed his normal, inscrutable expression.

"We shall, uncle."

Shiranui did not need any more words than those. He quickly unsheathed his sword and began to slice at his nephew with blinding speed. Shino pulled out a kunai to defend himself, but because of the limited length of the knife, he was unable to make any counterattacks. Finally, Shiranui landed a devastating blow to Shino's abdomen, only to find that his target dissipated into a swarm of deadly insects. Shiranui deftly dodged backwards in order to avoid the bugs, but was caught from behind by Shino, who attempted to land a roundhouse kick to his opponent's ribs. Shiranui blocked the kick, and sent Shino spinning into a nearby tree. Shino's slammed into the tree and collapsed to the ground. As he staggered to his feet, his uncle chuckled.

"I fear that there is little hope for the future, if weaklings like you are to inherit the world."

Shino would not let Shiranui goad him. He took this time to formulate a plan.

"Oda," Shino whispered, "take a contingent of insects and move behind him. Do not attack until I give the command."

Oda saluted to his host and flew off with a small group of his fellow kikai bugs. Shino then drew a few shuriken from his pouch.

"What new trick are you going to use, eh, nephew?"

"You shall see soon enough. Then again, you can't see, can you?"

Sakura, who was still in her hiding place, made an inaudible groan at Shino's attempt at humor. Shiranui, however, found this change in Shino's behavior amusing.

"Are you getting cocky? I don't think you have anything special in mind, seeing as how you are just going to throw shuriken at me."

Shino remained deadpan. Instead of responding, he threw the shuriken all at once. Shiranui blocked them effortlessly, but that was exactly what Shino wanted him to do.

"What were you expecting, Shino? Such stupidity should be punished!"

Shiranui charged at Shino with his blade, and hacked with all his might, but as his blade connected with Shino's kunai, it cracked. Shiranui backed away.

"What have you done to my katana?"

"Kikaichu eat chakra," Shino replied, "But they are also good at breaking down solid material. They are called destruction bugs, after all. I had a few fly within the holes of the shuriken. The spinning sound of the shuriken distracted your ears from the bugs' wings. Give up, Shiranui! I've broken your weapon!"

"Don't think you've beaten me yet, boy," Shiranui said as he smirked evilly. "I have plenty of other ways to kill you."

Shiranui cast his blade to the ground and unleashed a barrage of his own bugs. They hurtled towards Shino, who had barely enough time to counter by sending out another swarm. What ensued was a deadly conflict of miniscule proportions. The kikaichu bit, stung, tore, and wrestled each other in order to serve their masters. The two ninja spouted out a continuous stream of insects to feed the growing war. Soon, neither opponent could see each other amidst the chaotic, undulating mass of battling bugs.

Sakura clenched her teeth and closed her ears. The noise of the fracas was deafening. She could hear the sound of thousands of wings buzzing, thousands of exoskeletons crunching, and thousands of little insectoid death cries. She could see Shino through the chaos, and she saw that his face was completely deadpan. How could he show no emotion when his soldiers, who had been living inside of him, were dying in droves?

The truth was that Shino could not afford to let his emotions get the better of him. He had to micromanage his armies so that, once the battle was over, he would have the advantage. He concentrated on each division of his bugs and issued telepathic orders. He had no time to think about anything else. He could not even think of the figure that was creeping up behind him…

Shino gasped.

Sakura screamed.

Shiranui chuckled.

The bugs, who were no longer receiving commands, flew back to their masters. As they cleared, the outcome of the battle was visible. Shiranui had taken his broken sword and stabbed Shino while he was distracted.

"Come out from your hiding place, girl. If your sense of fear didn't already give you away, your scream would certainly do the trick."

Sakura stepped out from the foliage and stared at the man who was now holding Shino by the sword which was embedded in his chest. Shino coughed.

"Your friend has lost to me. Leave now, and your lifespan will lengthen considerably."

Sakura's mouth moved, but her words were inaudible, even to the receptive ears of Shiranui.

"What did you say, girl?"

"He…was a mystery to me…I barely even got to know him…but he seemed to be…someone worth knowing. You killed him! You killed him before I even got to know him! I don't even know what his eyes look like!"

Shiranui's smirk turned into a frown.

"I dislike overt displays of emotion. You begin to annoy me, girl. Leave, now, and be content to know that he died a shinobi's death. As for his eyes…I suppose I can give you his head so you can find out…"

Shiranui slid his sword from Shino's body, and raised it so as to decapitate him. Sakura rushed toward Shino and blocked the sword with her bare hands. The sword shattered into hundreds of tiny flecks of metal.

_She's strong, _Shiranui thought, _too strong to be left alive._

Shiranui called his bugs out, but he realized then that all of the bugs that had returned to him weren't his! At that moment, searing pain erupted throughout his body as Shino's bugs drained his chakra. He collapsed to the ground, with barely enough strength to keep himself alive.

Sakura immediately rushed to Shino in order to try and heal him. She popped open the snaps on his jacket and looked at the wound. He had been run through, and the wound would be fatal if she didn't act quickly. Just then, Oda and his squad of bugs buzzed over to her.

"Sakura-san! Shino-taichou's body will be strange to you, since it is also a hive for us. We shall guide your hand so that you may heal him properly!"

"What are you guys?" Sakura asked.

"We're a special squad of bugs that Shino set aside in case he should be defeated. We were to report back to the Aburame compound in Konoha to tell them of Shiranui, but we decided that our efforts would be best spent by helping you."

The bugs chattered into Sakura's ear as she used her chakra to mend Shino's internal damage. After a couple of stressful hours, she had finally stabilized Shino's condition. She lifted him onto her back and ran off to meet up with the others.

* * *

And that's it! Hope you're freakin' satisfied for now. 


End file.
